If this were a normal election year, we would be heading into convention prime time for both major parties and gearing up for the candidates to hit the campaign trail in earnest until election day. But it’s not normal. The year has already been a decade long and it’s only July.
The conventions are going to be sparsely attended, mostly online affairs and who knows what a COVID campaign trail will look like after that. One thing is almost certain: you won’t be seeing much of Joe Biden on it.
We’ve all been joking that Biden has been campaigning from his basement since the plague hit, but no one has really proven the joke wrong so far. For all we know, Dr. Jill has him duct-taped to a recliner and only lets him go when it’s time for another one of his now-trademark disastrous virtual campaign events.
Stacey wrote a couple of days ago that Biden was going to have to eventually leave the basement and prove to the American public that he isn’t the drooling fool that so many of us now believe him to be.
As we have discussed here many times, Crazy Joe the Wonder Veep has benefited greatly from the Coronapocalypse excuse to avoid the campaign trail. He can’t spend 3 minutes on camera reading a teleprompter without barking nonsense. He may not even be able to speak English if he’s off-leash at a campaign event. It’s a given that his handlers want to keep him away from public campaigning for as long as possible.
Because conspiracy theories all have some validity now (I’m even questioning the moon landing since the plague hit), it’s not a stretch to believe that the Biden campaign brain trust hopes that the COVID news gets worse to provide them with an excuse to keep Gropey Joe in the basement. I’ve been saying that for over a month and I’m not alone. Many believe that some sort of COVID-related crisis will be manufactured by Team Biden right before the first scheduled debate. If he does happen to be on the campaign trail at the time, the “crisis” will be used as an excuse to whisk him away to the basement again.
Presidential campaigns are physically difficult for even the healthiest of people. By the end of the 2016 campaign, Granny Maojackets was so tired she was slurring even when she hadn’t been hitting her breakfast box of Franzia. Lately Biden looks as if he has aged 20 years just since he hit the basement in March.
In contrast to the Biden Basement Campaign strategy, it’s obvious that President Trump is itchy to hit the campaign trail. Then again, Trump is the young’un in this race. One would presume that some campaigning would have to happen before the election. It feels that Team Biden will have to be forced into it, as they have no interest in getting their train wreck in front of the public.
I wrote in a Briefing last month that President Trump needs to goad Biden to get out and campaign in public. It’s a win/win for the president because Biden looks bad either way. If he is reluctant, he appears weak and afraid. If Biden takes the bait, he’ll be on a stage somewhere talking about the invisible chihuahua in his pants that he speaks French with while eating Cocoa Puffs out of the box.
That’s if he’s having a coherent day.
Never Ask What Else Can Go Wrong
After the mountains here were on fire for a month the rains came and washed this down from them. THIS YEAR.
PJ Media senior columnist and associate editor Stephen Kruiser is a professional stand-up comic, writer, and recovering political activist who edits and writes PJ's Morning Briefing, aka The Greatest Political Newsletter in America. His latest book, Straight Outta Feelings, is a humorous exploration of how the 2016 election made him enjoy politics more than he ever had before. When not being a reclusive writer, Kruiser has had the honor of entertaining U.S. troops all over the world.
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