Joe Biden Is His Own Toughest Opponent
Joe Biden hasn’t put together three coherent sentences since he announced his run for president, yet he is apparently leading all of the presidential polls at the moment. We can cast aspersions on the validity of the polls and the choice-making of the American electorate at a later date. Today we’re going to speculate about Crazy Joe the Wonder Veep’s eventual return to the campaign trail, however socially-distanced it may be.
That Biden is the Democrats’ presumptive nominee is truly remarkable when you think about it. He’s all but abandoned his native tongue. He had one mediocre debate performance while the rest ranged from awful to disastrous. He’s off-script more than Robin Williams during his peak cocaine years on Mork and Mindy, yet everyone over on that side keeps giving him a pass.
As many have noted, this pandemic shutdown has been a boon for Biden and is probably the reason he’s doing well in the polls. Time away from the public eye has been Biden’s friend, train-wreck video appearances notwithstanding.
My latest “Democrats want the shutdown to continue” theory doesn’t have to do with tanking the economy, which I still believe is their primary objective. I believe their secondary objective is to leave as little time as possible between the return of the candidates to the campaign trail and the election. Biden is barely able to navigate the tightly scripted affairs that his handlers have him doing from his basement, they’re petrified of the thought of him being out in the wild, off-leash, and babbling.
Former Vice President Joe Biden, left, and Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., right, greet one another before they participate in a Democratic presidential primary debate at CNN Studios in Washington, Sunday, March 15, 2020. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
So, the longer Democratic governors can keep things at least in partial shutdown, the more the economy tanks and hurts Trump and the more reason Team Biden has to keep their guy away from cameras where he might eat a booger or sniff a stranger.
I’ll admit, this is the first presidential election since 1984 where I was looking forward to the general election debates. The thought of seeing Trump’s extemporaneous wizardry going head-to-head with Biden’s word salad factory will probably come off as something more akin to British comedy than American political theater. Must-see TV for sure.
There is little doubt that Biden’s biggest gaffe is just waiting for his grand return to campaigning in public. You know it, I know it, and his handlers all have bleeding ulcers because they know it better than anyone. Once he is back out in public, Joe Biden becomes the greatest weapon against Joe Biden. President Trump could go on autopilot and win the election.
Joe Biden is a classic example of a guy who can’t get out of his own way and the Republicans would love to put him in his way very soon. Expect President Trump to taunt him more about getting out as the summer wears on if they still have Joe locked in the basement. That could have some high entertainment value too.
Vice President Joe Biden, participates in a Democratic presidential primary debate at CNN Studios, Sunday, March 15, 2020, in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
This weird year is only going to get weirder as we get closer to the election. Biden may be leading in the polls right now but everyone who is being honest with themselves knows that his only real chance of winning is having this pandemic drama shield him from having to be himself in public.
OK, Biden is being honest with himself right now, but all he knows is that he wants a white pony and his foot doesn’t taste as good as he thought it would.
Um, They Can Get Free Booze, Food, and Money by Dating Any Men
Women aged 35 or above can get free booze, food and £50 for dating younger menhttps://t.co/qHTj5vDI6f pic.twitter.com/LoXs9Td5Df
— Daily Star (@dailystar) May 28, 2020
I Become a Bigger Fan of Hers Every Week
DeVos says she'll ensure public schools send CARES Act funds to private schools https://t.co/1uVMtIFY0O pic.twitter.com/gEg1OAI5dD
— The Hill (@thehill) May 28, 2020
PJM Linktank
I love America. Perfect: Texas Bar Owner Asks Mask-Wearers to ‘Stay Home Until It’s Safe’
Zuckerberg Casts Shade on Twitter’s Trump Fact-Check: ‘Facebook Shouldn’t be the Arbiter of Truth’
Trump Will Act on Big Tech Censorship, White House Says
WHY WON’T HE LISTEN TO DR. FAU…oh. Fauci: Second Wave of Coronavirus Infections ‘Not Inevitable’
‘Like Walking the Plank’ – Newsom Budget Cuts Could Send More Seniors Into NURSING HOMES?!
California’s COVID Nursing Home Death Rate ‘Cover Up’ Is Imploding
Amazon Shareholders Endorse Viewpoint Discrimination Against Conservatives
BREAKING: U.S. Secretary of State Rules that Hong Kong Is No Longer Autonomous From China
Report: Pentagon Will Present Timelines for Afghanistan Withdrawal to Trump
Skate Or Die: Skaters Send Message to Government Agents Who Filled Their Parks With Sand
Is This the Reason Cuomo Gave Immunity to Nursing Homes?
Farty and Scoldy: New Poll Shows Elizabeth Warren as Veep Would Boost Biden Best
Added Benefit of the Trump Presidency Is Better Ads
VIP
The Kruiser Kabana Episode 40: Memorial Day Recap and My Mask Rant
The Shocking Influence of Politics on Mental Health and Social Distancing Perceptions
VIP Gold
Biden Railed by Supporters for Doubling Down on Endorsement of Terrible Job Law
Picking and Choosing What Is Racist Makes Racist Outrage Completely Meaningless
From the Mothership and Beyond
Schlichter: This Election Is Republicans v. China – Oops, I Mean Democrats
Canadian Gun Group Files Lawsuit Challenging Trudeau Gun Grab
Physician, Defend Thyself: Healthcare Workers Among First Time Gun Buyers
I desperately argue to ignore WaPo. WaPo Editors Desperately Argue For SCOTUS To Ignore 2A Cases
Group of NY Pastors Rally in Preparation to Reopen on Sunday
Finally: Twitter Wrecks China’s Propaganda Campaign
Chaos In Minneapolis: Looting Occurring In the City, Tear Gas Being Used
Chrissy Teigen is ugly inside and out. Outrage Mob Claims Popular NYT Food Writer as Latest Victim
Lindsey Graham Has Named the First Witness in His FISA Abuse Investigation
The ‘Fact-Checking’ Mess Twitter Has Created For Itself
CDC Changes Its Tune About Antibody Testing
Dave Rubin Exposes the Left’s Hostility Toward Free Speech in New Book
Did You Read Pew Research’s Messy COVID Death Count Study Between Dem and Republican Counties
Joe Biden Oddly Rants That He’ll Break a Law Democrats Relentlessly Accused Republicans of Breaking
Ric Grenell Eviscerates Crazy Fake News Claim About What His Next Position Will Be
Joe Biden’s Bogus Claim of a ‘Scandal-Free’ Obama-Biden Administration Gets Nuked in New RNC Ad
Cuomo Signs Legislation Granting Immunity to Nursing Home Execs; After Large 2018 Campaign Donation
Kira Davis: Would the World Be Safer If Women Ran Everything? LOL…No.
Hollywood Reporter: Critics Say Bret Baier Is Professional But Leans To The Right
Which Clinton? Too Fun To Check: Clinton Jetted On Lolita Express To Sleep With … Ghislaine Maxwell?
Why Are Democrats Fighting The Revival Of The US Nuclear Industry?
Baltimore archdiocese has ‘serious concerns’ about county Communion ban
Arizona sues Google over claims it illegally tracked location of Android users
Coronavirus lockdowns mean bad business for drug dealers, too
The Kruiser Kabana
Castello di Sammezzano⠀https://t.co/gYNKKsdnfp pic.twitter.com/7OSGu71DJ4
— Architecture Hub (@architecturehub) May 27, 2020
Had this doing earworm duty for a bit yesterday.
No, I don’t think Fernando hears the drums.
___
Kruiser Twitter
Kruiser Facebook
PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear every Tuesday and Friday.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member