Joe Biden wants you to think he’s an ally of the minority community. After all, he picked the first female vice president, the first black vice president, and the first black female vice president before the American people even chose him to ascend to the Oval Office.
After he made his way into the White House, Biden nominated the first black female Supreme Court justice, and the topped it all with the first black female lesbian White House press secretary. All of those were momentous occasions for black people, women, and lesbians everywhere — depending on where those people fall on the intersectionality scale.
All that’s left is for Biden to appoint the first black female lesbian amputee to something. Watch him raise the bar even higher!
But there’s a problem. All of these intersectional firsts are for naught because Joe Biden is a white supremacist. Wanna know how? He tested positive for COVID-19 and kept working. GAAAAAAAAASP!
I know. It’s hard to believe that he could be so insensitive.
Thank Wokeness that Dr. Kim Sue, the Medical Director of the National Harm Reduction Coalition, is around to point it out to all of us.
“POTUS working while having COVID infection epitomizes white supremacy urgency in the workplace,” Sue wrote in a now-deleted tweet. “Sets a bad example for everyone that he cannot rest. COVID infection is serious, symptoms debilitating for many, and ppl should take time off without working through it.”
Urgency, you see, equals white supremacy, which means that the president thinks that he can’t stop getting things done. He’s accomplished so much throughout his presidency that he thinks he has to keep going. It’s like a drug, and Joe Biden can’t stop getting that hit of hard-workin’ white supremacy.
Related: BREAKING: Biden Tests Positive for COVID-19 (Really)
There’s only one thing he can do to remedy this heinous act of stomping on the right of minorities — or, dare I say it: threatening our democracy — with his white supremacist work ethic, and that’s to turn the presidency over to a minority until he recovers.
The most obvious choice, and the one that fits in with the Constitution, is Vice President Kamala Harris. Oh my Wokeness: can you imagine? The first black female president!
Of course, who needs the Constitution when you have a pen and a phone, so Biden could sign an executive order giving the presidency to anyone he wants while he recovers from COVID (and presumably sets his appointment for next month’s booster shot).
The possibilities are endless. He could allow Karine Jean-Pierre to become the first black female lesbian president for a few days. Or what about Rachel Levine? Why can’t the first transgender admiral become the first woman president? (What’s a woman? I don’t know. I’m not a biologist. Heck, what’s a president? I’m not a Constitutional scholar either.) There’s also Sam Brinton over at the Department of Energy. We’ve never had a puppy-play president that I know of, so there’s another historic first.
(Pete Buttigieg doesn’t count for two reasons: first, the White House has its standards, and second, James Buchanan may have already covered the whole “first gay president” thing back in the 1850s.)
Of course, we all know that the best thing Joe Biden can do while he recuperates is sign an executive order turning the White House over to the best president we’ve ever had: Barack Obama. Then we can all swoon over our favorite rockstar president once more as he tells us what’s best for us.
Regardless of who takes over, it’s clear that Joe Biden must do the right thing and step aside until he gets back to 100%. It’s the only way to end the scourge of white supremacy that rules this country.
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