This week in “Ditzes in Space,” you might have heard that an all-star cast of pseudo-feminist celebrities “made history” by being escorted through space for eleven whole minutes by Jeff Bezos in a glorified advertisement for his elite tourism service.
The all-female lineup included pop sensation Katy Perry, Bezos’ fiancée, a diverse corporate state media harlot, a “civil rights activist,” and a movie producer.
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Katy Perry kissed the dirt when she landed — the least cringy public display she’s made since returning (some might say unfortunately) to Earth.
katy perry went to space for like 4 minutes wtf is she kissing the ground for😭 pic.twitter.com/dU5Iy9gPmB
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) April 14, 2025
To prepare for the harrowing eleven-minute journey, Perry allegedly brushed up on her Carl Sagan.
Via Associated Press (emphasis added):
Perry spoke with The Associated Press at her Southern California rehearsal space on Wednesday, days before she was set to leave for training in Texas.
“I am talking to myself every day and going, ‘You’re brave, you’re bold, you are doing this for the next generation to inspire so many different people but especially young girls to go, “I’ll go to space in the future.” No limitations,’” she said.
Perry said she has been “psychologically” preparing for the spaceflight by reading work from the late Sagan and other scientists.
I would bet every last cent I have in the bank that this lady has never touched a Carl Sagan book and very probably had no idea who he is before her publicist or whoever put the talking point in her mouth.
Once in space, Perry led a rousing rendition of "What a Wonderful World" for her shipmates.
But it got even worse.
Anyone hoping that the majesty of space might have conferred some modicum of humility or capacity for greater consciousness on Katy Perry’s part was sorely disappointed as soon as she opened her mouth on Good Morning America for the de-briefing, at which time she informed the world that she and her feminist crusaders were “making space for the future” and that their journey was “about love and belonging.”
I hope they can see the unity that we modeled and replicate that and understand that we weren't just taking up space, we were making space for the future.
And for me, like Gayle [King] says, this wasn't a ride, it wasn't a destination, it was a journey, and it was a supernatural one, and my journey has always been about love and belonging.
I think that we have all felt that sometimes we weren't worthy or we didn't belong in certain ways, no matter all the accolades, no matter all the studying, no matter anything, and I think today we all said it, like, we belong here. This is where we belong, and we feel very sure of that.
Katy Perry says her fake space adventure united America
— miguelifornia (@miguelifornia) April 16, 2025
Yes... we all despise her pic.twitter.com/1qmb2Te30U
I met a 30-something future cat lady in the Amazon who talked just like this — the New-Age gibberish, the upward inflections, the delusions of profundity, the whole nine yards.
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I tried and tried in vain in that jungle to learn in peace from the actual, real shaman with generations of experience whom I had come to see, only to have this lady constantly droning on with airy nonsense about “her journey” just like Katy Perry’s in the background.
She was preparing to return to Columbia University, I was forced to learn, to offer courses to other future cat ladies about all of the indigenous wonders she had discovered in the Amazon, except that she hadn’t discovered any at all beyond a very superficial understanding because she literally never stopped talking — mostly about herself.
