Half way across the Atlantic earlier today I looked up to see a naked man–a young white male–walking from economy towards first class. Totally bare. He was not chanting any threatening words in Arabic or any other language. In fact he didn’t say anything. He was not in a hurry, not streaking. He was just walking at a normal pace, not looking left or right, not schmoozing up the attendants. An afternoon stroll.
He didn’t look or behave like a terrorist and he was certainly not wearing an explosive belt. As I said, he wasn’t wearing anything at all. I briefly wondered if he was a next-generation suicide bomber with explosives shoved up an orifice, but by the time that thought matured–if he was going to blow himself up where had he hidden the detonator?–the whole thing was over.
At a certain point he was greeted by a couple of men I assume to have been air marshals, and his adventure was over. His clothes were located and he dressed. He had a University of Virginia sweat shirt (What would Tom Jefferson have said?). I didn’t see him again until we landed, when the police took him off.
It was all very quiet. The crew and the marshals were totally professional. I never heard anyone yell. Probably he was either nuts or stoned. Or both.
There’s got to be a lesson in there somewhere, maybe even two, and here they are:
ONE: I, like most frequent flyers nowadays, am mentally ready to hurl myself at some guy with a weapon or who acts like a terrorist. But I was totally paralyzed by the naked man. It was like watching a silent movie that might turn out to be hard core porn. But then again maybe it was a comedy. You couldn’t tell, because the tempo was so relaxed.
So it seems to me that naked terrorists might be very dangerous. I hope Homeland Security is working on this;
TWO: If the airlines are going to permit passengers to take off their clothes and stroll down the aisles, they should limit it to good looking women. They might even charge extra for those flights.
2B: They make you turn off your telephone, so I didn’t get any pictures…
Michael, I guess it is a case of intelligence and what is done with it. Just as so many people know the price of such and such, but not
the value of it, so too we see mind numbing incompetence.
The folly of it all.
Michael, time to get an iPhone. You can put it in “airplane mode” and the camera works.
yeah, i gotta get more technologically hip, i know.
I would have thought it was the new “frequent flyer” uniform developed by the TSA.
great story michael
I would preferred an attractive woman doing that, but beyond that mildly purient interest, I am glad no one got hurt and that your flight was not seriously disrupted.
Mr. Ledeen appears to regret his inability to snap pictures of this naked man…. and Mr. Simon is offering advice on how to succeed next time.
Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?
“Orefice” Is that where coal comes from?
You can have most phones on as long as they’re in “airplane” or “flight” mode. Learn how to use this feature. Since it was a guy, we’ll let this one slide, but don’t let it happen again.
Flight number..?
Never mind the iPhone, you have a new technical hip. It’s camera just gave us more than we’d care to see, in stereo motion, no less. Yuck.
No pictures? Thank you.
I mean, where would you’ve grabbed this guy if he had been a terrorist without grabbing something…icky?
Sounds like a great plan.
Terrorist #1 walks down the aisle naked, attracting the sky marshals, heroes and attention. Terrorist #2 can leisurely light his fuse and scrunch up next to the window….
YOu really need to trying flying up in First Class with Laura Flynn Boyle:
http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/story/flynn-boyle-cagey-over-nude-flight
If you’re in economy, the best you can hope for is Rita Pearlman.
The way things are going we’ll soon all be naked except for the air marshals and flight crew. Strapped in as well, wearing blindfolds, with our clothes and luggage in another plane. Sure it will be inconvenient and insane, but imagine how safe we’ll all be!
It was probably in protest of the new scanners that basically show you nude to the TSA as you pass through them. “Those who would give up liberty for temporary safety deserve neither and lose both.”
It’s just about time the ever expanding police state in this country was put in check. This is a FREE society and in a FREE society we should not be subjected to violations of our privates or privacy.
I hope we see more and more people speak out against these scanners using whatever means necessary.
In this case, the difference between hard-core porn and comedy is a matter of mere inches.
Oy. Unless cameras are now illegal, it is possible to turn off the phone portion of most phones and just use it as a camera…
“Probably he was either nuts or stoned. Or both.”
No just ahead of the times, we will all fly naked soon.
it was a probe:
now the enemy knows how to locate and neutralize two air marshals: get a stooge to stroll down the aisle naked…
Love how my comment about this most probably being done to speak out against the new airport scanners that see you NUDE got *moderated* away. No profane language, no attacks, nothing of that sort. I’ve an idea….perhaps allowing for free speech would be more appropriate since that is supposedly what the troops (myself, my brother and my father included in this category) are shedding their blood for around the globe. A little respect and treating others the way you want to be treated would go a long way towards righting this sinking ship of a country we’ve got.
Just a guess, but perhaps this guy was afraid of flying (only rational, especially these days) and had taken some sort of anti-anxiety medication. If he inadvertently took too much, then he might have been just very, very, very relaxed…
What I don’t like about stories like this is that you never get to hear the end of the story. No moral. No nothing.
Naked guy walks down aisle of airplane. Men in black suits get rid of him. The end. Move along now. Nothing to see here. No questions, please.
Rather Twighlight Zone — or Even “1984.”
This is not a new phenomenon. I was at a language school with a bunch of United flight attendants ~15 years ago, and several of them had stories about naked passengers strolling around the plane, for a variety of reasons (sleepwalking, drunk/stoned/crazy, naturist trying to prove a point, etc).
to #19 Neoconned.
Boy, are you going to be angry when the government installs little buttons in our foreheads that reveal our thoughts and emotions.
I think the EPA is working on the prototype now. You know, for our “health” and all.
I am with neoconned on this one. I hope this was an act of civil disobedience.
““Orefice” Is that where coal comes from?”
No, Coal Comes from West ‘by god’ Virginia.
Orefice is a Chiropractor in Millford Conn.
http://www.wellness.com/dir/2514940/chiropractor/ct/milford/michael%C2%A0orefice
Thought you had us there, didn’t you? I’ll bet you would have freaked if he had been a Proctologist.
Kaspar Hauser:
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For that I would think a camera would be mandatory. Optional with some drunken nutjob from UV.
#24, your 1st msg is right there at #19.
O is about as open as a can of spam!
I am SO glad I don’t have to fly for any reason.
I agree with it being a ploy to identify the
security personnel,,,,, for next time.
I suspect he was a muslim . . . and thought he was on Virgin Airlines. . .
1) As a woman who flies from time to time, I see nothing wrong with this. I’d expect
2) Perhaps while going through the full body scanner, his clothes were sent the same place as his luggage – in the opposite direction.
Part of my comment got cut off. Stubby fingers this early in the morning. Should read: I’d expect a reduced fare.
Instead of “speaking out” against the new TSA rules, he “streaked out”.
I couldn’t resist! : )
Bad news. Both Al Queaidah and the Madhi Cult in Tehran read this blog, big time Ledeen fans. The next airliner attack will start with a nude beauty strolling the aisle. This freezes and/or distracts all would be heroes long enough for Fat Achmed from Manchester to ignite the explosives hidden under his double chin in the reserved seating for Religion of Peace devotees (over there in the window seat above the wings/fuel tanks). Drop the Health Care Takeover, Senators, investigate Michael Ledeen while there’s still time! Also, new seminar assignment for Professor Barry: Why Do They Hate Our Passenger Jets? Was it something TWA or Pan American did “back in the day?” Forgive me, Harry, for using Negro Dialect.
“I mean, where would you’ve grabbed this guy if he had been a terrorist without grabbing something…icky?”
Ears. Oh, if he’d been a terrorist? Eyelids.
Suppose it had been a naked man with a backpack. That momentary shock and hesitation is understandable, but (with respect) it could have been fatal. It might easily be a last mistake, hoping for an Air Marshall to materialize.
Serious question: What would happen to someone if they tackled such a person as soon as he was noticed, and while trying to immobilize him (grab his arms, pin them down and empty his hands), caused some injury?
Best regards, Peter Warner.
You’re serious? This really happened?
Good grief. My flight to Chi town next week I hope is not as interesting, as in the old Chinese curse, “May you fly on interesting flights.”
Do you think this had anything to do with national No Pants Day? Seems he went a bit overboard, though.
Perhaps it was a trial run to see if this would be a way for a terrorist gang member to find out who the Air Marshalls are on the flight?
Perhaps the guy was just making a statement against the new “security” scanning machines in the airports.
I take offense at your lesson number 2.I happen to be a very attractive naked man,and are offended by you saying you would pay more to see a naked woman walk down the isle.To much of your breeder simple-mindedness in that piece.
Already, there are reports that at least one homicide bomber in Saudi Arabia hid the bomb in his rectum. Can rectal exams in the screening area be far behind (no pun intended)?
Just think! If there was an airline where everybody flew naked,
· There’d be no place to hide the bomb.
· No devout Muslim would even get on the plane.
Safety could also be enhanced by
· Upholstering all airline seats in pigskin.
· Cooking bacon in the galley and circulating the fumes through the air-pressurization system.
· Allowing each passenger to carry bacon slices, to be used as assault weapons.
This is decidedly superior to Janet Napolitano’s strategy of forbidding lavatory access, in the vain hope that terrorists will pee in their pants, and disarm their bombs.
@ Inola-Okie:
Rather on Mohammad’s goats Airlines.
I think you saw this video! Sheikh Issa bin Zayed Al-Nayhan torture tape, he is the son of the late United Arab Emirates President Zayed bin Sultan Al-Nahyan. The brother of the present ruler of Abu Dhabi, the Emir Khalifa bin Zayed Al-Nahyan; and the brother of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Zayed Al-Nahyan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11RgN5r0Qb8
These illegal monarchies in the Middle East, specifically “Saudi Arabia, U.A.E, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain” they maintained its tough commitment to propagating Islamic-fascism widely at home and around the world. All the radical extremist groups in the Middle East and the Islamic fundamentalism terrible movement around the world financed and supported strongly by enormous oil proceeds of oil-rich States in the Middle East. where the enormous oil proceeds from that States became in service of Jihad against so-called infidels “Zionists and Crusaders.”
Jassem Othman, Syrian, Poland.
@ Delia:
Dear Delia, do NOT worry, you can fly safely. You’ve got a courage government that can protect you “Mr Obama’s administration hahaha!!!!” However, dear Delia, do NOT be afraid, in the US there are a lot of brave people who they really can protect you and protect the US National Security
God bless the USA & bless you, Delia
Oh, for crying-out-loud. I’m a 60 yr.old woman–not a bad body –but hardly “exciting” Pls.scan my body so I can get on the damned plane; and MAYBE feel secure. I really don’t care about anyone getting excited about a female body. There are millions of porn sites for perv’s to look at (and get excited) I agree with Topnife (comment#49) Please Read it and laugh! We DON’T have a President/Administration/Homeland Security who can DEAL with ANY terrorist/security risks. Progressive/Liberal P.C./ B.S.
““I mean, where would you’ve grabbed this guy if he had been a terrorist without grabbing something…icky?””
Piffle. I’ll grab him by the icky … and SQUEEZE.
Nobody wants to see the naked guy, Mike.