It's time for your much-needed break from the serious news, and this week, we'll learn when not to try and recover your drone, how not to dress for a police chase, and what they do for fun in Slovakia.
Let us begin as we always do with...
The Most Florida Man Story Ever (This Week)
Florida Man arrested after drone carrying drugs crashes into house
Before we get started, I'd like to thank everyone who sent me this story, which was literally everyone.
Thanks, everyone!
Florida Man — never lacking in entrepreneurship — attempted to make a drone delivery of perfectly innocuous methamphetamine and fentanyl when he accidentally crashed the drone into the wrong house.
Naturally, he showed up at the front door to try and retrieve the drone and the drugs, because if there's one thing Florida Man believes in, it's customer service.
The homeowners called the police.
Here's the best bit from the report:
Body camera footage released by the sheriff's office showed deputies encountering Florida Man outside the home as he was holding what appeared to be the drone's remote.
The video shows a deputy inspecting the bags of drugs, including one that was marked "share this."
He shared a bit too much.
As always, one point is awarded in each category except when I say so.
Exit Question: Illegal drug buys are usually cash transactions. How'd Florida Man receive the cash for the drug delivery?
SCORE: Entrepreneurship (New!), Drugs/Alcohol, Vehicular Drone Madness, Police Bodycam, Criminal Mastermind, Getting Caught Stupidly, Way to Take the L
TOTAL: 7 FMF Points.
Women Drivers...
Naked Florida Woman leads police on a high-speed chase in a stolen Cadillac
So you know how sometimes you're driving around mostly naked in a stolen Cadillac when suddenly, for whatever reason, the police try to pull you over?
No?
Just Florida Woman then?
Anyway, Florida Woman then did what any of us would have done in that situation we would never have been in, and put the pedal to the metal — hitting 110, according to police — until a nicely executed PIT maneuver brought her to a stop.
Neither the drugs nor the suspended license will shock you, but the hefty fines and possible jail time under the state's new "super speeder" law might come as a surprise to Florida Woman.
SCORE: Police Chase, Vehicular Madness, Suspended License/Expired Tags, Public Nudity, Should Have Taken the L, PIT Maneuver/Stop Sticks, Glamor Mugshot, WTF Were You Even THINKING?
RUNNING TOTAL: 15 FMF Points.
Exclusively for our VIPs: We’re Losing the Race for the Ultimate High Ground
Catching a Ride
I kinda hate to make light of this one, since the victim ended up getting medevaced to the hospital with serious injuries, but it's also too wild not to include:
Florida man was seen clinging to the hood of a car as it drove down State Road 520 in Cocoa on Tuesday morning...
A small white vehicle had a busted-out windshield and other damage after police say a man got on the hood and held on while the female driver drove away.
The reckless driving incident was reported by several drivers who called 911. Two vehicles that weren’t involved in the original dispute were hit when the female drove recklessly down the road. The car eventually crashed into a sign when the man was thrown off and run over, according to Cocoa police.
According to the report, the couple got into it at a Wawa parking lot and, well, things got way out of hand, with both of them hospitalized following the crash.
SCORE: Vehicular Madness, Caught on Video, The Inevitable Helicopter (Or Drone), Convenience Store, Domestic Bliss.
RUNNING TOTAL: 20 FMF Points
Bonus Florida Video:
Florida man perfectly captures a gator pic.twitter.com/Wm8EhlWCky
— Dudes Posting Their W’s (@DudespostingWs) August 15, 2025
This is the second video in recent months of Florida Man, either barefoot or in flip-flops, catching an alligator.
Why? Because Florida.
Maybe He Didn't Know That Was Wrong
You know what I hate?
You know how sometimes you get all dressed up for work which is kind of a big deal because you own a place called the Psychedelic Jester Smoke Shop which you named it that because you figured if anything was going to make people want to smoke stuff it was going to be some Skeletor looking dude dressed up like a psychedelic jester except that sometimes people come into your shop and see you in that costume and figure they've had enough already and walk right back out so anyway you're on your way to work in your jester gear when you see this guy mowing lawns making all this noise at the ridiculously early hour of two in the afternoon so you start yelling at this guy to keep it down but his lawnmower is loud that he didn't hear you coming and he can't even hear you yelling so he won't even shut it down which is when you pull out this 12-inch dagger that you carry with you just like the psychedelic jesters of olden times did which is when the police show up and haul you off but at least they let you ditch the jester suit for your mugshot which is why you're looking so damn good in all the newspapers.
Don't you hate that, too?
SCORE: Weapon (Preferably Unusual), Master of Disguise, Glamor Mugshot, Dude You OK?
RUNNING TOTAL: 24 FMF Points.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Hero FWC officer jumped into action, helping save crash victim trapped inside car
Nice work:
A Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Officer helped rescue a driver heading into the Florida Keys Wednesday afternoon after she was trapped in an overturned vehicle.
The crash happened in the Southbound of U.S. 1 near Mile Marker 109.
Officer Chris Lejarzar saw the sedan leaking fuel and attempted to free the driver.
Cellphone video from a passing car showed the car upside down and smoking, with officer Lejarzar trapped inside.
According to FWC, the officer removed part of the seatbelt through the broken back window. In body-worn camera, Officer Lejarzar can be heard comforting the driver.
“We’ll try not to move you here for a second here. Let me figure out what’s going on, okay?,” he said. “I can cut your seatbelt out, but I don’t want to have you fall on your neck or anything. You’re bleeding pretty good.”
No word on what caused the crash, but thanks to Lejarzar, the woman was airlifted to a hospital for treatment.
I watch a lot of bodycam videos — this one from a few months ago is my current favorite — but it never ceases to impress how calm first responders usually keep themselves in some truly nasty situations.
SCORE: Vehicular Madness, Police Bodycam, The Inevitable Helicopter (Or Drone), plus the usual three bonus points for Sheer Awesomeness to Officer Lejarzar.
RUNNING TOTAL: 30FMF Points.
Previously on Florida Man Friday: Why'd It Have to Be Snakes?
So How Did Florida Man Do This Week?
Five scored stories with a total of 30 points for an average way up on the high end of 6.
Solid effort, Florida Man & Woman.
Meanwhile, in Slovakia...
A man wearing nothing but a balaclava and plastic clogs — and carrying a sex toy on a stick — has been startling tourists while wandering around a historic European castle.https://t.co/sPYBlTCi5h
— Sky News Australia (@SkyNewsAust) August 6, 2025
"Get outdoors, they said. Take a hike, they told me, we'll have some laughs."
A story like that can mean only one thing: Florida Man has exactly one week to reclaim his crown of glory in time for the next exciting episode of...
Florida Man Friday
P.S. Don't miss Five O'Clock Somewhere with Stephen Kruiser, Yours Truly, and special guest Larry O'Connor at 3 p.m. Eastern today. There will be day drinking.
