Welcome to Insanity Wrap, your daily dose of the best of the worst. Reporters were the real victims — really? — is today’s big crazy.
- The best parody video you’ll see all week
- Good guy with a gun… in California?
- It’s the return (exit, actually) of Creepy Porn Lawyer
Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.
This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006
It’s beyond parody pic.twitter.com/5kmCcSrJyf
— Libs of Tik Tok (@libsoftiktok) July 6, 2021
Capitol Hill Cowards: Reporters Were the Real Victims
Five people died in the January 6 riot, only one violently.
Three died of natural causes, one of a drug overdose. So we aren’t exactly talking about fit soldiers invading federal property.
The one who did die violently was Ashli Babbitt.
She was shot to death by a police officer whose name has still not been released. The widely-seen video of her killing showed no evidence of her having a weapon or of being a threat to the officer who shot her or to anyone else.
Neither she nor any of the rioters should have been in the Capitol Building, but as we’ve seen time and again, there was no “insurrection,” and increasing evidence that the whole, damnable and sad affair was orchestrated at least in part by the FBI.
But who are the real victims? The reporters who covered it in almost complete safety, of course.
Vice.com fabulist Cameron Joseph has the story of “the reporters who survived the insurrection.”
The congressional reporting veteran was in the House gallery when a colleague texted him that the Capitol’s exterior security fence had been overrun. As soon as he stepped into the hallway, he heard the roar of the crowd as they warred with police officers trying to protect the Capitol’s perimeter.
He then saw MAGA-clad assailants try to smash open the east doors of the Capitol into the Rotunda before officers with M-16 rifles screamed at him to clear the area. Bresnahan moved to a perch on the floor above Statuary Hall, watching for an hour as rioters flooded through an entrance door they had broken open. At one point, he ran downstairs to help an officer back to his feet who’d been knocked down in a scuffle with rioters. He said he only felt personally threatened once during the insurrection—when rioters briefly cut off his exit route.
Bresnahan, a Navy veteran who has covered Congress since 1994 and co-founded the D.C. newsletter Punchbowl News, said returning to the Capitol after the riots was difficult.
Seriously, it was difficult for anyone to return.
Some reporters who were there won’t go back into the building. A number have sought therapy to deal with the trauma. One longtime Capitol Hill reporter opted for early retirement shortly after living through the riot. Many still aren’t sleeping well.
Insanity Wrap could go on in this vein, but why bother?
It all amounts to this: The people who were protected by men with M-16s from being attacked by unarmed, invited-in rioters, are now claiming PTSD.
Previously On Insanity Wrap: Who’s Ready for Another Subprime Real Estate Crash? Joe Biden, That’s Who
Your Daily Dose of Mostly Peaceful Protest
I saw this yesterday and was like, "nah, they wouldn't do that…" I was wrong. 😂❤️ pic.twitter.com/PYxJNMxxhM
— Րυɱ૦Ր Һคς ɿ੮ 🏴 (@BrandiLynn4Ever) July 7, 2021
Here’s a totally peaceful protest against “urban” vaccination ads.
This might be the funniest (and most cringe-inducing!) parody video Insanity Wrap has seen since Weird Al’s MTV heyday.
The Craziest Person in the World (Today)
Insanity Wrap loves a scary story with a happy ending:
The homeowner was eating breakfast when he heard a knock on the door. The owner did not respond which led the intruder, who was armed with a loaded semi-automatic handgun, to kick the door down.
The homeowner, whose identity is not known, shot the 27-year-old intruder twice, wounding him in the chest. First responders arrived at the scene and pronounced him dead.
Sadly, that’s not the end of it, as California continues to crack down on law-abiding people like the homeowner who defended himself and his property from an armed invader:
This includes a new law by the California legislature which limits the purchase of semi-automatic rifles. Under the new law, those under 21 are banned from purchasing such guns and the rest of Californians can only purchase one riffle per month.
The city of San Jose has introduced a new tax on gun owners. This means that every time a gun owner purchases a new firearm, they must pay an 11 percent tax on top of a background check fee.
San Jose city council members have also approved a law that requires legal gun owners to carry liability insurance.
But: “While California has some of the strictest gun control measures in America, it continues to be ravaged by crime.”
H.L. Mencken always gets the last, bitter laugh.
Your Daily Dose of Mandated Unity
2001 “We’ll only spy on foreign enemies”
2013 NSA spied on Americans, but meh
2014 CIA spied on US Senate, but it’s sorry
2017 FBI spied on POTUS, but he’s Hitler lol
2021 NSA spied on US journalist but it’s just Tucker
2025 There were no warning signs about our new spy overlords
— Razor (@hale_razor) July 8, 2021
Gosh, is it 2025 so soon?
And Now For a Brief Moment of Sanity
The judge was brutal in rejecting Michael Avenatti’s objections:
“Avenatti used Franklin’s confidential information to demand that Nike pay him $15 [million] to $25 million, and he did so without Franklin’s knowledge and to Franklin’s detriment,” Judge Gardephe wrote. “In making any settlement paid to Franklin contingent on Nike paying Avenatti millions of dollars, Avenatti acted with intent to defraud his client.”
The jurist said the court was right to reject Avenatti’s bid to have thousands of text messages between Franklin and Geragos admitted as evidence in support of his claim that he believed the $15 million probe was in his client’s interests, because Avenatti was unaware of the messages at the time and thus could not claim they shaped his thinking.
We’ll find out on Friday whether and how much time Avenatti will serve, but if the judge’s remarks are any indication, Creepy Porn Lawyer had better be prepared to dodge a very large book thrown at him.
Previously On Insanity Wrap: Teaching Hate and Revenge: High School CRT Teacher Reveals the Horrible Truth About CRT
One More Thing…
That’s a Wrap for today.
Come back tomorrow for another Insanity Wrap…
…assuming we make it that long.
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