Insanity Wrap needs to know: Why does everyone keep thinking Sen. Joe Manchin will switch parties?
Answer: We’re not sure, but he might make a better Republican than five or six current GOP members.
Before we get to the sordid details, a quick preview of today’s Wrap.
- Facebook says conservative YouTubers can draw bigger audiences than CNN (and must be stopped)
- It puts the mask upon its skin or else it gets the hose again
- Transperson sues to enter women’s weightlifting competition and we don’t wonder how this will end
And so much more.
Shall we begin?
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Insanity Wrap is certain you must have at least one woke family member, friend, coworker, or acquaintance who would denounce this speech for white supremacy if they read an anonymous transcript of it rather than watch King’s unparalleled delivery.
They Really Are Out to Silence You
Read that again: “We have to turn down the capability of these conservative influencers to reach these huge audiences… There are people on YouTube for example that have a larger audience than daytime CNN.”
Once Again, It’s Ryan Long for the Win
Body Positive Personal Trainer pic.twitter.com/aQNPIa2mQb
— Ryan Long (@ryanlongcomedy) January 18, 2021
Here’s Another Damn Thing We’re Supposed to Be Concerned About
When Insanity Wrap read that Elon Musk killed Jamie Lynn Spears’ cats, we immediately wondered what he’d been smoking this time. Had he gone Florida Man rather than Texas Man?
Jamie Lynn Spears called Tesla “a secret cat-killer” and told CEO Elon Musk that he owes her a couple new feline friends.
The actress, singer and sister of Britney Spears said in a since-deleted Instagram video that her cats were run over by a Tesla they never heard coming. Teslas, like other electric cars, run quieter than vehicles with gas-powered engines.
“We have now lost — I don’t want to tell you how many cats — because they don’t hear the Tesla (TSLA) crank and unfortunate things happen and it’s really devastating and tragic for everyone involved,” she said in her Instagram post.
First, we had to worry about bird-slaughtering windmills, and now this.
Insanity Wrap’s heart goes out to anyone losing a pet, even cats.
(We’re a dog person, sorry.)
But maybe it’s time that we as a nation had a serious discussion concerning environmentally-friendly, government-subsidized energy — and why it’s so deadly to animals and other living creatures.
And Now For a Brief Moment of Sanity
Threatening people or businesses over ideology isn't "how the market works."
It's how the mob works.
— Anna James Zeigler (@ajzeigler) January 18, 2021
Insanity Wrap’s only regret is that someone wrote this before we had a chance to think of it.
Previously On Insanity Wrap: Did Jack Dorsey Just Repudiate His Decision to Exile Trump from Twitter?
This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006
USA powerlifting sued for not allowing gender-nonconforming biological males to compete against women
Oh, come on.
USA Powerlifting (USAPL) will face a discrimination lawsuit brought by a transgender powerlifter who was barred from competing with biological women, according to a case announcement issued on Tuesday. The gender-nonconforming biological male athlete JayCee Cooper identifies as transgender would prefer to compete against women.
Translation: Cooper isn’t fit enough to compete against men, and would like to take a legitimate women’s trophy and require by force of law that it be turned into his personal participation trophy.
Your Daily Dose of Mostly Peaceful Protest
Dutch police blast angry anti-lockdown protestors with water cannon and charge them on horseback https://t.co/TIrncNi1xU
— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) January 18, 2021
The Dutch government ended a completely peaceful protest with state violence:
Dutch police turned a water cannon on hundreds of anti-lockdown protestors who were taking part in a banned protest against the Dutch government and its tough coronavirus lockdown.
Police on horseback also moved in to break up the demonstration on a large square ringed by museums, including the Van Gogh Museum and Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.
Amsterdam municipality said riot police took action to disperse the crowd because people weren’t adhering to social distancing measures.
Disease-carrying proles may be dispensed with by using a water cannon and mounted police for the simple reason that their protests aren’t violent.
It is with regret that Insanity Wrap predicts (not endorses) that will change.
The Craziest Person in the World (Today)
Today’s craziest person in the world is whoever penned this editorial for Issues & Insights.
Manchin switch parties — why?
The author meant well, Insanity Wrap is sure, but it is our sincere belief that Manchin will never switch parties.
It isn’t that he’s conservative enough (although just barely) to caucus with the GOP. Because he is.
Manchin would likely prove to be a more reliable GOP vote than, say, Mitt Romney. Hell, Manchin might vote with the Republican caucus more than Romney does even without switching parties.
(We aren’t laughing at you, Mitt. We’re laughing toward you.)
So why not switch?
Right now, Manchin is like the ’80s Moonlighting TV show before Dave (Bruce Willis) and Maddie (Cybill Shepherd) slept together.
Everybody tuned in every week for another steamy installment of “Will They Or Won’t They?”
There was tension there, and tension grabs attention.
Then Dave & Maddie got it on, and the show quickly devolved into mush.
Right now, Sen. Joe Manchin enjoys tons of “Will He Or Won’t He?” dramatic tension.
It keeps him in the public eye. It keeps him talked about. It keeps the relatively undistinguished Distinguished Gentleman from West Virginia on all the TV news shows.
He’d have to be crazier than Insanity Wrap to give that up.
A Purity Test for the Military Is the New Diversity
Nothing says Commander in Chief like being afraid of your own military. https://t.co/AAyKg0D48u
— SUPER-SPREADER Dr.Nick Searcy,INT’L FILM & TV STAR (@yesnicksearcy) January 18, 2021
If this were going on at the swearing-in for some morally-deficient Third World despot, the State Department would issue a formal protest and that would be the end of that.
So the difference is State doesn’t care when it happens here.
One More Thing…
We laughed because it’s true.
Aside: We found that one on MeWe today, but we’re also warming our Gab account back up after the three-year hiatus.
That’s a Wrap for today.
Come back tomorrow for another Insanity Wrap…
…assuming we make it that long.