It Takes a Village to Train a Dog

DC is the village. You’re the dog. Or so claims WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten:

I’ve been living with my dog for five years now, but only recently did I come to accept Murphy’s red-state politics…

Like other Republicans, Murphy demands less government; she makes this position abundantly clear anytime I attempt to govern her behavior in any way inconsistent with her immediate desires, such as horking up maggoty chicken from the gutter, which she will do with subversive glee while in a protective crouch. She’s for eliminating federal agencies, particularly the U.S. Postal Service, a position she shares with Ron Paul and reconfirms once a day, impolitely, through the mail slot.

Murphy is a Plott hound, which means she is 100 percent American — one of the few completely native breeds, developed in the rural South for huntin’. By constitution, therefore, she’s a gun-loving redneck. As might be expected, she has some issues with racial diversity: She is friendly to most dogs but will snarl and snap at Akitas and Airedales, two fussy-looking breeds that resemble large stuffed toys. To her, there are litmus tests for being a real dog, and they just don’t pass.

Somebody needs to smack Weingarten on the snout.