When I was younger, I considered the possibility that the government might be hiding wild, fantastic stories — like, maybe they found a spaceship at Roswell! Or even an alien body!
But after the whole Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal, I changed my mind: I figured, if the president and a low-level intern couldn’t even hide a [CENSORED] without secretly recorded phone calls, stained dresses, and a gazillion media leaks, the probability of a conspiracy that involves hundreds of people — spanning decades at a time — remaining undiscovered is virtually nonexistent.
As Ben Franklin noted, “Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.”
Recently, however, I’ve reconsidered my earlier disavowals. How could I not? For four long years, we were told that Joe Biden was “as sharp as a tack.” We were told that story over and over again, right until Biden walked on stage to debate Trump and was revealed before our eyes as an invalid.
And before that?
We were told that Trump was a Russian secret agent. (He wasn’t.) We were told that he peed on a bed with prostitutes. (He didn’t.) We were told that Hunter Biden’s laptop was Russian disinformation. (It wasn’t.) We were told that “Bidenomics” was the greatest economic recovery in history. (Not even close.) We were told that the border was secure. (De ninguna manera, José!) We were told that COVID had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with a Chinese lab leak. (Um?) There were so many government/media lies and exaggerations just about COVID that listing them all would require a separate column!
So maybe we shouldn’t be too hasty in dismissing all conspiracies, eh?
And this brings us to our tech bro billionaires who’ve (pleasantly) surprised the conservative movement with their boisterous, enthusiastic support of Donald Trump: Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, and others attended Trump’s inauguration, visited the White House, and pledged their loyalty.
Even tech bro billionaires like Sam Altman (CEO of OpenAI) — formerly a good, loyal, Biden-backing liberal and member of the LGBTQ community — has joined the fun:
watching @potus more carefully recently has really changed my perspective on him (i wish i had done more of my own thinking and definitely fell in the npc trap).
— Sam Altman (@sama) January 23, 2025
i'm not going to agree with him on everything, but i think he will be incredible for the country in many ways!
And while conservatives are applauding appreciatively, the billionaires’ friends and neighbors in Martha’s Vineyard, Silicon Valley, and Beverly Hills (whatever’s not burnt) aren’t nearly as pleased. They’re ticked! They really, truly believed that Trump is a Nazi.
Yet the tech bros caved anyway.
On top of it, billionaire CEOs aren’t exactly renowned for their flexibility. These aren’t the kinds of people who admit they’re wrong very often. If anything, they’re stubborn to a fault.
Yet they all coalesced around the “fascist” Donald Trump, admitted they were wrong, and are now pledging their steadfast support?
It seems a bit counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
These are billionaires who want to be trillionaires. What’s their real angle?
Here’s one theory: They’re after the greatest prize in human history. And the oligarchs are determined to control it and monetize it.
The prize is Artificial Intelligence.
The technology is ungodly expensive. It requires vast reservoirs of water — absolutely obscene amounts of energy. And despite all their separate riches, no one billionaire can fund it all on his own. The infrastructure itself precludes it.
And here’s Trump, pledging to “Drill, baby, drill.” Then in one of his first moves, President Trump announced the Stargate A.I. project, a $500 billion investment.
Hmm...
These billionaires are all-in on A.I. They’re investing billions in a quest to make trillions. It seems to me that the shortest path to superintelligence is to support a candidate like Trump, get him to fund and fuel your AI infrastructure, and then write the rules and regulations in such a way that you (and your fellow oligarchs) solely control the technology.
Of course, it’s entirely possible that the tech bros’ MAGA conversions were all genuine and authentic. Maybe, after all this time, they’ve finally seen the light.
Right?
But then again, it’s also possible that this is all a con.
Like I said, it’s just a theory. But it’s probably worth considering.
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