News & Politics

At UN Climate Change Bash, Biden Apologizes! (For Trump)

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Once he woke up from his refreshing UN Climate Change Conference nap and recovered from the exhaustion of joyriding around Rome in an 85-car posse of gas guzzlers, Old Joe Biden took to the stage at the conference to address this supposedly climactic, all-encompassing crisis that threatens to destroy us all, and did what any good member of today’s beachfront-property-owning political elite would do: he blamed Donald Trump.

“I guess I shouldn’t apologize,” Sleepy Joe began. But why not, Joe? It worked so well for your friend Barack Obama, who apologized for the United States on numerous occasions on the world stage. And so the Dozer-In-Chief decided to do the right thing: “But I do apologize for the fact the United States, the last administration, pulled out of the Paris accords and put us sort of behind the eight ball a little bit.”

There was, he said, no more time for such shilly-shallying: we have entered a “decisive decade,” and there are even more important things at stake than the integrity of Biden’s taxpayer-funded beach house wall. “It’s simple,” said the apparent president, “Will we act? Will we do what is necessary? Will we seize the enormous opportunity before us, or will we condemn future generations to suffering?”

Addressing those who still believe their lying eyes rather than the plain facts that Biden and his handlers insist are true, the man who gets his orders directly from those in charge insisted: “Climate change is already ravaging the world. It’s not hypothetical.” Referring to recent incidents of extreme weather in various places, he added: “In the past few months, the United States has experienced all of this, and every region of the world can tell a similar story.”

Old Joe, or whoever writes his twaddle for him, knew he would be addressing a home crowd, and so he didn’t bother to explain why it is that the world has been afflicted with fires, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, and more since the dawn of time, but why only now they can be attributed to manmade causes and can be solved by government action. As scientist Roger Pielke Jr., stated before Congress back in July 2013, “It is misleading, and just plain incorrect, to claim that disasters associated with hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, or droughts have increased on climate timescales either in the United States or globally.”

In fact, for years it has been patently obvious that the “crisis” is wildly exaggerated. As climate expert Roy Spencer has noted: “The magnitude of global-average atmospheric warming between 1979 and 2012 is only about 50% that predicted by the climate models relied upon by the IPCC in their projections of global warming.” What’s more, back in 2005 the Environment Program of the same United Nations before which Old Joe spoke Monday claimed that by 2010, there would be 50 million climate change refugees worldwide.

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But making demonstrably wrong predictions hasn’t stopped the UN, or Old Joe and his handlers, from pushing this nonsense. “We are standing at an inflection point in world history,” Joe read off the teleprompter on Friday. “We have the ability to invest in ourselves and build an equitable clean energy future.”

Meanwhile, the White House gave some teeth to Biden’s words by releasing, also on Monday, two plans for action: “President’s Emergency Plan for Adaptation and Resilience” (PREPARE) and “The Long-Term Strategy of the United States: Pathways to Net-Zero Greenhouse Gas Emissions by 2050.” One way we’re going to march together into the glorious carbon-free future is by handing over $3 billion in taxpayer dollars to Third-World nations to help them fight this alleged threat; meanwhile, “The Long-Term Strategy” details how Biden’s handlers plan to have us all using Flintstone-powered vehicles by 2050. How we’re going to earn those billions to fork over without adequate power for transportation, to say nothing of heating homes and offices, is unclear. Solar and wind power will surely take care of everything, right? Sure.

Biden said he was determined to act on this appalling and fiction-based agenda all the more in light of Trump’s refusal to buy this nonsense. “I know it hasn’t been the case,” Biden said referring to Trump’s supposed failure to lead on this issue, “and that’s why my administration is working overtime to show that our climate commitment is action, not words.” He promised to “do more to help countries around the world, especially developing countries,” saying that the U.S. had “an obligation to help” and would do so by quadrupling climate change financing in the near future. How can we pay for that? The way Leftists always do: tax everyone to the point of reducing them to serfs of the state and when all else fails, print more money.

“Right now,” Joe intoned, “we’re still falling short. There’s no more time to hang back or sit on the fence or argue amongst ourselves. This is the challenge of our collective lifetimes, the existential threat to human existence as we know it. And every day we delay, the cost of inaction increases. So let this be the moment that we answer history’s call in Glasgow.”

For once, Old Joe may actually be right. Resisting his sinister agenda in this may well be the challenge of our collective lifetimes.