News & Politics

Ted Cruz Airs His Omnibus Bill Grievances in a Brilliant Monologue: 'This Pile of Trash Belongs in an Ashtray'

(Image via Twitter screenshot)

The Senate is about to vote on a monster omnibus spending bill today that is over 2,000 pages long and stuffed full of the usual pork that is going to cost taxpayers $1.4 trillion. Ted Cruz put out what can only be described as a one-act play on Twitter, complete with props, a (sort-of) lit cigar and a stack of props, which he used to tear apart the spending bill. I think it should go straight to Broadway (after they work out the cigar kinks). It’s six minutes of mockery and exposure of the way business is done in Washington. D.C. In the words of Cruz, we have a government that is “of the lobbyists, by the lobbyists, and for the lobbyists.” Ouch.

Cruz begins his monologue by attempting to light a cigar (which doesn’t go very well) and then proceeds to tell us all a little bedtime story about what our government is doing to us today. “Christmas came early in Washington for lobbyists…lobbyists who are bankrupting this country,” he begins. “I present to you the massive omnibus bill…dropped on us the day before yesterday. Nobody’s read it. There is not a person alive who has read this piece of garbage. But it was put together in the dark of the night with Republican leadership and Chuck Schumer cuttin’ a deal.”

Here are a few of the highlights Cruz found in this boondoggle that the GOP and Democrat unibrow party want to force on us.

  • Extends the Export-Import bank for seven years
  • Raises the tobacco purchasing age to 21
  • It funds government research on gun control
  • Continues tax breaks for “renewable energy” (corporate tax breaks)
  • Fails to defund Planned Parenthood
  • Fails to end Obamacare
  • Fails to expand college savings plans and to support educational freedom
  • Fails to stop sanctuary cities
  • Fails to fully fund the wall

“This pile of trash belongs in an ashtray,” concludes Cruz before jamming his unlit cigar into the bill. Not only is this good political theater, but maybe it will wake up Americans, who should be burning the phone lines of their senators right now to tell them to vote against this terrible bill. We can do better than this. Why must the GOP always roll over to Democrats? Perhaps they want to continue making us pay for Planned Parenthood’s butcher shops. Perhaps they have lied to us about wanting to end the taxpayer subsidy of murder. With all the evidence we have that Planned Parenthood is selling hearts, livers, brains, kidneys, etc. for “research” and making huge amounts of money doing it—against the law—why should even one Republican agree to give them a red cent?

And why are sanctuary cities not being defunded? There is no excuse for this. None. Cruz is right. This is a piece of garbage and it belongs in the burn pile. Watch Cruz in the video below. If he wasn’t already a senator I think he could have a career on stage.

Megan Fox is the author of “Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo.” Follow on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter