March 2016 was only two years ago, but it feels more like 200.* Way back in that distant past, amidst all the talk of the Zika virus and Hulk Hogan v. Gawker and other ancient history, I tried to imagine a scenario where Donald Trump got the GOP nomination and was elected president of the United States and had to deal with North Korea. What might such a strange future look like?
I figured Trump would employ his preferred method of communication with the outside world: Twitter.
“Roly-poly Kim Jong Un, who would make his poor father ashamed, won’t play ball. Sad! RT for nukes, fave for ground war.” #NeverTrump
— Jim Treacher is a dumb pseudonym (@jtLOL) March 5, 2016
I was #NeverTrump back then, and I suppose I still am because I’ve never voted for him. And of course, I was foolish enough to think that if Trump was elected, he’d still continue tweeting the same way as always. Now I know better!
But just because I’m a #NeverTrump cuck RINO traitor who hates America and whatnot, that doesn’t mean I’ve fallen prey to Trump Derangement Syndrome. Now that Trump is president, and now that he may very well enter into negotiations with North Korea, I’m trying to remain cautiously optimistic. As the old Vulcan proverb says, “Only Nixon could go to China.” Well, maybe only Trump can go to North Korea. Maybe it’ll work. I don’t know, and neither do you, and neither does anybody else. Everything I thought I knew about the world over the last couple of years has turned out to be wrong, so who knows?
But no matter what happens, I absolutely refuse to plunge into the fever swamp, like our friends over at CNN and MSNBC.
Here are a couple of reactions to the latest North Korea news, captured by the tireless David Rutz over at the Washington Free Beacon. First up, here’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Joe Scarborough and his main squeeze Mika, declaring that this whole thing is just a distraction from the real story:
“He makes a decision on North Korea because of Stormy Daniels, and people can deny that all they want, but if you’re doing that, you’re in the tank for Donald Trump, because it is painfully obvious that’s exactly what’s going on.”
As always, Scarborough’s punditry is every bit as good as his music. Clearly, he’s still working through his guilt and rage at helping Trump become president and then being cast aside, just like Scarborough cast aside his first few wives.
(Yes, I think Trump probably did bang at least one porn star. No, I don’t think it’s more important than North Korea. Voters knew who and what Trump was on Election Day 2016, and they didn’t care. Now he has the job, whether you like it or not. If that’s being “in the tank,” Joe, then here’s me doing the backstroke.)
Or how about CNN’s Erin Burnett, mournfully contemplating the possibility that Trump might get something right and it could reflect well on him:
“If President Trump can truly solve this problem, that would be going down as a great president. And there’s no way around that. That is the reality here.”
Oh no, not that! Sure, good things are good. But how good can they really be, if people we despise might get credit for them?
The same folks who swooned over North Korea at the Winter Olympics a few weeks ago are now panicking about opening up relations with the Norks. Even my shrug emoji is using a shrug emoji.
No matter how exasperated I get with Trump’s antics, the people who hate him the most are determined to remind me why so many Americans voted for him. He won because he ran against the media, and every day the media redouble their efforts to prove him right about them.
Next time, geniuses, don’t nominate Hillary Clinton. Then maybe you’ll get another chance to do things your way for a few years. Until then, tough cookies.
Assuming we don’t all get blown up by North Korea, let me congratulate President Trump in advance. If he can pull this off, he’ll deserve the reelection his enemies keep trying to guarantee. He’s not my favorite guy in the world, but he’s still my president. I’d rather swallow my pride than a lungful of nuclear fire.
*Hell, it feels more like 2,000 years. The 24/7 news cycle really takes its toll, don’t it?