Five Dirty, Career-Ending, Prison-Warranting Secrets Biden Wants You to Forget Before Election Day

AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

Let's call it like it is. Lady Liberty is on the ropes, and it wasn't the Nazis, the Soviets, or Islamic terrorists who put her in a daze. Nor was it a second Civil War that bloodied her face, forcing Mick to cut her eye. The simple answer is that this is the work of Democrats and RINOs.  

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As of today, we are supposed to believe that Joe Biden plans on running for re-election, hoping to assail our battered nation with another term of Marxist codswallop. I'll bet my Snagglepuss lunchbox that doesn't happen. I think Biden is going to exit, stage left. And with good reason.

Brandon, Let's Go!

Joe Biden is the worst presidential candidate since Vermin Love Supreme Al Sharpton. He "brought class back to the White House" in his first term by allegedly dropping a crabcake in his pants while chatting up the Pope. A week later he "stepped on a goose" while making small talk with the wife of then-Prince Charles. But hey, that's just "blue-collar Joe" being one of the folks.

Biden has managed to get away with political murder for decades. Sure, he was forced to bail on his presidential ambitions in the 1980s when being a liar and a plagiarist had consequences, but apparently those malfeasances are no longer enough to keep a good-for-nothing trickster out of the White House.

Even the ole stand-by nuke in the Democrat's quiver — an accusation of racism — hasn't stopped Biden, despite a decades-long history of bigotry.

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FACT-O-RAMA! If you need proof that the left's dedication to the #MeToo movement is flapdoodle, just look to Tara Reade. She alleges that Biden sexually assaulted her in the 1990s. There is a video of her mother calling the Larry King Show to discuss the attack and how to handle it, yet nothing has happened to him. Reade, fearing for her safety, has since moved to Russia.

So Joe Biden has survived his history of racism, sexual assault, and loose bowels. Where is his Achilles heel?

Like Biden, Bill Clinton was once invincible until he wasn't. He got away with too much, and eventually, his legacy began to sour. Unlike Biden, Slick Willie was clever enough to lie low and disappear, surfacing only to "allegedly" rob Haiti or hobnob with little girls on Epstein's Pedo Island. Biden, on the other hand, is pretending people want him around.

But like his former nuclear waste wacko Sam Brinton, Biden has baggage he can't explain, perhaps more than his handlers anticipated. And try as the Pravda press apparatchiks may to keep his dirty laundry out of sight, I'm not going to let that happen. 

Here are a few of Biden's whopper headlines that the mainstream media flushed faster than a mass shooting committed by a leftist.

1. AKA Joe Biden

The National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) was forced to admit that it has roughly 5,400 emails and electronic records from Joe Biden using various aliases. Most of the emails are from an obscure government server: "@pci.gov." 

A lawsuit suggests that Biden may have been sending government information to, among others, his crack-puffin' son Hunter.

CRACK-O-RAMA! What could go wrong with Gropey Joe sending government intel to a narcissistic crackhead who takes money from Chinese communists for no known goods or services?

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Then-vice president Joseph Robinette Biden, the clever devil that he is, came up with some pathetic noms de plume to cover his online tracks, including "Robin Ware," (his middle name and the last syllable of his home state of Delaware), "JRB Ware," (his initials and another tip o' the hat to his home state), and "Robert L. Peters," a name that doesn't include any damning personal connection to his own.

FACT-O-RAMA! You can bet your paycheck if I sent government information on a weird federal server from aliases like "KDJ Ichigan," I'd be writing this article from the hoosegow, where I did not kill myself.

For a guy who claims that there was "an absolute wall" between himself and his son's skullduggery, sending government information using aliases is a bad look.

2. Hunter's laptop

Joe Biden, along with every Democrat, including your chartreuse-haired, Hamas-hugging, hermaphro-in-law, laughingly mocked you for believing that Hunter's laptop, brimming with videos of his personal amateur drug porn, was somehow "Russian disinformation." After all, 51 former intel specialists traitorous bootlickers all agreed that the laptop had the trademarks of a Russkie subterfuge.

But it's real, and so is everything on it. And those in the media who aren't asking Joe Biden and his White House spokesfibbers to explain why Biden lied are probably in on the scam.

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3. Biden showered with his young daughter

I defy you to contact the FBI, tell them you left your diary in a rehab center, and ask them to kick in the doors of three right-leaning journalists to get it back. The feds would laugh at you unless your name is Ashley Biden.

But that is what happened when Joe's daughter Ashley left a diary full of scandalously grotesque information, including her belief that she was sexually abused as a young child, and mentioning her "probably not appropriate" showers with her dad when she was a young child.

Related: Ashley Biden Recording CONFIRMS That the Infamous Diary Is Hers, and Sick Joe May Have to Head to the Showers

The media was able to abracadabra this story to the cornfield in record time.

4. Classified documents

It's hard to pull off the Stalin-like move of arresting Donald Trump for keeping classified documents when your guy was caught keeping classified documents in various places, including:

CUMSHAW-O-RAMA! Hunter Biden requested that keys be made for "officemates" at the House of Sweden complex, including members of the Biden crime family and Gongwen Dong, an "emissary" for Ye Jianming, the chairman of the commie-linked company CEFC, which, according to the Oversight Committee, handed Hunter millions of dollars for reasons unknown. Ye has since gone "missing" in China.

Keep in mind that Biden was never legally allowed to swipe those documents. Many of them go back to his days as a senator, which ended in 2009.

Related: Is This What the Biden Admin Was Really After When It Raided Mar-a-Lago?

Remember when Joe Biden, recently suspected by many Americans of questionable "mental capacity," declared that he had sold a lot of state secrets? Twitter remembers:

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5. COVID-19 tyranny

The lefty media, which, according to RFK, Jr., Vladimir Putin, and the Church Committee Report on Foreign and Military Intelligence of 1976, (page 455) is dominated by the CIA, performed its greatest magic trick when it made Americans somehow forget about Joe Biden's COVID tsarism.

Many Americans were forced to bend their knees and raise their sleeves for a COVID clot shot that was not only marginally effective at best but would go on to make many people sick. We were told to stay home, give up our incomes, wear feckless Fauci face diapers, stand on science-free "social distancing" stickers, and report on our neighbors who dared not cave into COVID totalinarism.

FACT-O-RAMA! As of this writing, Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-N.Y.) retains the "right" to place anyone she chooses for any reasons she sees fit into a "COVID camp" for as long as she wants. New York's Rule 2.13 allows her to sidestep a judge and lock up whomever she chooses.

The only thing more egregious than the unconstitutionality of these maneuvers is how quickly voters forgot about them. Americans would go on to re-elect many of the worst offenders, including Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich.).

Biden's DOJ would eventually decide not to prosecute New York's former governor Andrew Cuomo, who single-handedly killed almost 15,000 elderly people by sending COVID patients back into nursing homes.

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Why did we forget so soon? Because all of this miraculously faded from the Democrat-led headlines.

Bonus Biden Chicanery: Ukraine

Remember Hunter's sweet deal with Bursima? Or that time when Joe Biden famously chuckled on video that he had a prosecutor who was looking into Hunter's Burisma nonsense fired for doing his job? Then-President Trump was impeached for simply asking about the sticky Biden situation.

Have you heard the bombshell phone calls that took place after then-Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko did as he was told? You're about to, but first check this out:

No one, not even Hunter Biden, can explain why Burisma hired a drug addict with no history in the energy sector who can't speak Ukrainian to its board of directors.

Most people haven't heard these damning phone calls between Joe Biden and Poroshenko because, again, the mainstream media doesn't want you to know they exist.

Bread and circus

Most Americans don't know what you've just read. This isn't an accident. 

The Democrat Party-dominated news agencies distract We the People with daily headlines of the bogus Trump persecutions and where Taylor Swift slept last night. The feds have given us just enough inflation to keep us worried about filling our gas tanks and feeding our kids, which is yet another distraction. 

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Related: Is Taylor Swift a CIA PSYOP? Do You Care?

For you fans of "The X-Files," the truth is out there, and it's here at PJ Media. For now.

Needless to say, those pulling strings at the legacy news outlets are gunning for PJ Media. We bring the inconvenient truth when the commies cover the corrupt tracks of their political masters.

Now is the time to fight back against the pinkos, and it's as easy as becoming a PJ Media VIP Member. Our lovely VIPs keep our lights on as Big Brother openly demonetizes us every day.

Click HERE and join us now before we find ourselves sharing a dung beetle salad in Hochul's COVID gulag. Use the code SAVEAMERICA for a delicious discount.

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