Undoubtedly, your Pandora and Spotify have been set to the Christmas music station since the day after Thanksgiving. During the last couple of weeks, you were most likely reminded of which songs make your heart melt and get you excited for the season. You also likely quickly remembered that you’d rather stick pine needles from your Christmas tree into your fingernails than listen to them one. more. time. It’s ok — what you’re experiencing is normal. It’s the Christmas music overload, and it’s happening everywhere.
While some of the classics can keep a smile on our faces as they play day in and day out, others seem to cause a very physical reaction when they start jingling away on our radios. Chances are, the Christmas songs that you’ve grown to hate over the years are the very same ones that everyone hates. So in the spirit of togetherness this season, let’s recap the worst/most annoying/creepiest Christmas songs ever.
10. “All I Want for Christmas Is You” — Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber
Mariah Carey has had so many hits over the course of her career, so she was bound to have a clunker at some point. At first, this one isn’t so terrible — it’s no worse than the diva’s other Christmas songs. But then Bieber has to go and ruin everything. Worse than listening to the song is having to sit through the video.
9. “The Little Drummer Boy” — Justin Bieber and Busta Rhymes
First of all, this is such an odd pair. Secondly, listening to the Biebs “boy band” this song up is enough to make anyone want to bang that drummer boy’s drum with their own forehead. The whole time I listened to this, all I wanted was for David Bowie and Bing Crosby to make everything better with their “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” duet. Save us, Starman, from Beliebing in this awfulness.
8. “Santa Baby” — Madonna
Please, someone, stop her from putting on that pouty, nasal-y voice. Also, have you ever really listened to the words of this song? She sure does ask for a lot from the old man, doesn’t she? “There’s one thing I really do need, the deed / To a platinum mine.” Really? Seems excessive. How about a nice sweater or maybe a monogrammed mug instead?
7. “Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” — John Denver
I didn’t even know that this song existed before this year. And now I wish I never knew.
6. “Silent Night” — David Hasselhoff
I always found this song to be a bit of a downer. Not the lyrics so much as how it kind of just draaaaaags on and on and on. When you’re listening to a great Christmas mix, you start to bop and sing, and then “Silent Night” comes on and it’s a huge buzzkill. Add Hasselhoff on top of that and you’ve got yourself a real whammy.
5. “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” — Band Aid
Yes, this song had the very best of intentions. It was recorded to help with anti-famine efforts in Ethiopia. But the lyrics are just so awful. “At Christmas time, it’s hard, but while you’re having fun/There’s a world outside your window, and it’s a world of dread and fear/Where a kiss of love can kill you, and there’s death in every tear.” Let’s hear it for uplifting Christmas music!
4. “Wonderful Christmastime” — Paul McCartney
It feels dirty to even include Sir Paul McCartney on this list, but he completely missed the mark here. For such an incredible musician, he went a little nuts with the keyboard sounds that plague this song. It’s pretty annoying from start to finish.
3. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” — Elmo & Patsy
I always thought this was kind of fun, but just this week it came on the radio while I was driving around with my 3-year-old. As I was singing the lyrics, I kept cringing. How awful a scenario — and one that I kind of don’t want my toddler to sing while he’s learning about the true meaning of Christmas… And, by the way, how great that grandpa is handling the death of his wife so well by watching football, drinking beer, and playing cards.
2. “12 Days of Christmas” — Anyone!
This one needs to go. It seems endless while it’s playing, and I don’t know why anyone would gift their love that many birds. No one — NO ONE needs a partridge, doves, hens, calling birds, geese, and swans. That would make for a very noisy party.
1. “Dominic the Donkey” — The Hillbilly Southern Players
Once this song gets stuck in your head, it NEVER LEAVES. If you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing it, go ahead. Try it, I dare you. See what happens. (And for the record, at least in my Italian family, we never celebrated Christmas with a donkey…)
Let us know in the comments which song puts a damper on your Christmas spirit!