The Morning Briefing: Anti-Science, Emotional Weakling Mask Fetishists Had a Rough Monday

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Franz has a surprisingly gentle touch with the fragrance in his homemade bath bombs.

A TALE OF TWO COUNTRIES.

As we have often marveled in the last couple of years, the divisions in this country are clear, deepening, and probably permanent. Trump’s election in 2016 got the ball rolling and the Wuhan Chinese Bat Flu really helped clarify the battle lines in the family feud. I’ve occasionally been wistful for the days when I could hang out with people of all political persuasions and have a good time.

Now the people on the other side freak me right out.

I awoke yesterday morning to some news that I have been waiting for. Paula covered it:

A federal judge in Florida on Monday struck down the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) federal mask mandate for public transportation, granting summary judgment to the Health Freedom Defense Fund Inc., which had challenged the mandate.

U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle, who was appointed to the bench by former President Donald Trump, ruled that the mandate “exceeded the CDC’s statutory authority, improperly invoked the good cause exception to notice and comment rulemaking, and failed to adequately explain its decisions.” Therefore, Mizelle wrote, “the Court declares unlawful and vacates the Mask Mandate.”

As a result, the judge remanded the mandate back to the CDC for “further proceedings consistent with this order.”

Of course, I’m not the only one who was waiting for the announcement. Sane people everywhere were.

Because we have the whole Two Americas thing going on, however, the news wasn’t met with universal applause:

The progressive lust to be controlled by the government is some serious disturbed kink. Pipe down and keep your mask on if you want, femboi, most of us are opting for freedom. https://t.co/0qOSs0FkIq

— SFK (@stephenkruiser) April 18, 2022

There were a lot of diaper-soiling reactions like that from the leftist mask fetish crowd.

It’s a kink with these emotional cripples. They crave being controlled by the government. It’s a turn-on for them. The thought of being left to their own devices terrifies their submissive, masochistic psyches.

From my perspective (which is always the correct one), this is like dealing with people who insist that the crazy person stab them in the eye because it’s more comfortable knowing where the knife is going than dealing with variables. These people are afraid of autonomy and making choices for themselves. Leftists loathe personal responsibility, which is why they leg-hump leaving that kind of thing up to bureaucrats.

There is almost zero science supporting the efficacy of the cloth masks people are wearing on planes. It’s as medically and scientifically sound as burning sage or relying on the judicious petting of one’s lucky kitten. The body of evidence proving these people wrong has been reaching Everestian heights recently. Those clinging to the “masks as Captain America shields” theory are not serious or mentally capable people.

Everything Isn’t Awful

This UPS driver was delivering a package when he saw a cat on the front porch.

It was love at first purr.

(Speakers up 🔊). pic.twitter.com/3rSpC3mwDc

— Goodable (@Goodable) April 18, 2022

Smells Like Onion

Company Referral Program Offers Bonuses For Recommending Potential Employees To Fire https://t.co/ATdGvGV13P pic.twitter.com/43GcCoIz6t

— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 18, 2022