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The Morning Briefing: Please Call 911 If You See Jen Psaki's Last Brain Cell

AP Photo/Evan Vucci
Jen Psaki Ain’t No Circleback Girl

Happy Wednesday, fellow travelers on the Kruiser Morning Briefing Way. I’m still not comfortable with that topiary nonsense in The Shining.

Anyone familiar with the toilet-swirling advocacy cheerleading that masquerades as journalism these days is aware of the recurring narratives. One of the more overused b.s. tales has to do with Republican presidents and anyone who works for them. The Republican POTUS is invariably portrayed as an utter moron and the most dedicated members of his administration are knuckle-dragging sycophants who somehow got stuck somewhere further down the evolutionary chain.

The other side to that story is just as predictably awful and out of touch with reality. We are to believe that every Democrat elected to the presidency is miraculously sharing in a transcendental mind-meld with all of the great minds of human history and that the members of their administrations are granted access to this magical genius stream for as long as they serve at the pleasure of the president.

[I do love my long sentences, don’t I? Admit it, none of you are here for anything pithy.]

That’s all bunk of course. To be a devoted modern Democrat, one has to completely eschew biology, history, mathematics, intellectual curiosity, and critical thinking.

So much for the genius stream.

We all know that the current president isn’t playing with a full deck. In fact, if Ol’ Gropes has a deck at all it’s from a game of Candyland and he needs at least two Secret Service agents to keep explaining the rules to him.

Well, it turns out that the best kind of spokesperson for a guy like that is one who also isn’t using a lot of brainpower.

New White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki is another mediocrity from the Obama administration who is being recycled by Team Biden. Remember, The Lightbringer shone most brightly when he deliberately surrounded himself with dim people.

Jen Psaki may have been the dimmest.

In her first couple of weeks on the job, Psaki has distinguished herself by not being able to answer many questions, repeatedly telling reporters that she will “circle back” to them. Thus far, it doesn’t seem as if much, if any, circling back has yet happened.

Matt had a story yesterday about Little Miss Ditzalot not being able to handle a simple question about Space Force:

On Tuesday, when asked about Space Force, Psaki was clearly clueless about how to respond, resorting instead to mocking the newest branch of the U.S. military.

It was a simple question about whether she knew if Biden plans to keep the Space Force, and if he does, whether it will remain at the same size and scope. Psaki simply laughed at the topic, before conceding she had no idea what to tell him and didn’t even know who she should talk to about it.

“Wow… Space Force. It’s the plane of today,” she mocked.

“It is an interesting question,” she continued. “I’m happy to check with our Space Force point of contact. I’m not sure who that is. I will find out, to see if we have any update on that.”

She’s a paste-eater.

What makes Psaki’s giggling schoolgirl flailing even more pathetic is that she’s been asking the brave journos to feed her the tough questions in advance, which our own VodkaPundit fittingly chronicled in his Tuesday Insanity Wrap. Here is Stephen’s summary of the story, specifically about the “reporter” feigning outrage at the administration:

Insanity Wrap just has to laugh at the lack of self-awareness by all players involved here, from the Asterisk White House all the way down to Tani himself.

In fact, the lack of self-awareness is so complete that Insanity Wrap literally figuratively can’t even — whatever that means.

Everybody has their part to play in the kabuki theater of White House press briefings, and if the press fails to play its part by presenting a “fair” number of gotcha questions — even to a friendly administration — then they lose ratings.

They can’t have that.

So while the Biden administration seems to be hoping for a completely supine press, even the White House Press Corps is going to push back on that.

As longtime Insanity Wrap readers know, there’s little we enjoy more than some blue-on-blue action.

I’m sure that Jennie from the block will one day have to answer a question. Something about what color shoes her boss is wearing that day or who her favorite Beatle was. If they give her enough time to answer she may not glitch and just repeat “circle back” over and over like a short-circuiting Stepford wife.

Watching this unholy alliance between the Biden Democrats and his water carriers in the mainstream media is going to be very uncomfortable for however long they keep Scranton Joe propped up in the job.

There might just be some entertainment value in watching Jen Psaki trying to outdo her boss in the on-camera embarrassment department.

I’m always looking for silver linings here.

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Oh, ’60s television. Here’s Rickles on Playboy After Dark. There are a few gems in here but mostly just watch to see what an offbeat freak show this was. I think Shecky, Bob Newhart, and Mel Brooks are the only old-school comics from the era who are still with us. I’m not counting Cosby because he’s about 10 years younger than that group and none of them ever roofied anyone.

Cheez Whiz will always be the greatest food that doesn’t have any food in it.

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author ofDon’t Let the Hippies ShowerandStraight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.