Trump Will Win, Media Will Lie and Say Biden Did
Happy Tuesday, travelers on the Kruiser Morning Briefing Way. We’re all in this together. Until we run out of whiskey, of course.
We have finally arrived at a moment that almost kind/of sort of resembles something normal from a presidential election year. I’m sure that this first debate will be some sort of socially distanced, partially masked affair but at least we are finally here.
I’ve been saying all along that I never believed that Joe Biden’s handlers were going to let him off-leash long enough to debate. It is very early on Tuesday morning in my part of the country as I write this so there is still plenty of time for them to realize they can’t wake him up enough to keep him on camera for ninety minutes.
Biden’s recent on-camera appearances have been his worst. He slurs. His eyes are closed. When they do open long enough to read a teleprompter the drooling moron goes full Ron Burgundy and reads whatever is in front of him even if it wasn’t meant to be read.
Biden has sounded overly medicated, even during the DNC speech that the Enemy of the People media pretended they liked. They’re going to have to pump him full of racehorse doses of amphetamines to get him prepped for tonight.
Trump has been waiting for this opportunity, of course, as have his supporters. As a supporter, I worry that he may have gotten too cocky with the preparation.
Another worry is something that Larry O’Connor wrote about at Townhall recently, cautioning Trump supporters against lowering the expectations for Grandpa Gropes in this debate. We spent so much time doing that for his DNC speech that all he had to do was show up and not wet himself on camera (SHOUT OUT, JERRY NADLER) and it was going to be a success.
Of course, none of the speculation matters. The media is going to say that Biden bested Trump no matter what. The MSM always says that the Democrat won the presidential or vice-presidential debate. Even when Mitt Romney absolutely cleaned Barack Obama’s clock during the first debate in 2012, the MSM still only grudgingly acknowledged that The Lightbringer had had an off night, not that Romney had actually done well.
The press has worked double-time to ignore the fact that Biden looks and sounds awful. When Jake Tapper pretended to be a journalist for a moment this past weekend and asked Jill Biden about her husband’s gaffes, she dismissed him. Rather than follow up, Tapper behaved like the good little Democrat lap puppy that he is and moved on.
We can’t expect the questioning to be worthwhile. Chris Wallace is in the frothing mouth stage of his Trump Derangement Syndrome affliction.
The Trump campaign should check and double-check that Biden isn’t wearing an earpiece so he can be fed answers. It would be nice if we weren’t in a place where that would be a concern but here we are.
We can be fairly certain that the president will not let any of Biden’s slurry falters go without mention. I actually hope he brutalizes der Bidengaffer the first time he trips on his meds.
I don’t know if anything that happens during this debate will move the needle for any inexplicably undecided voters out there. I’m mostly just looking forward to the mainstream media scum breaking their backs carrying water for Biden after whatever he brings to the stage.
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— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) September 28, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
— Archillect (@archillect) September 28, 2020
Which gets canceled first: the election or Christmas?
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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.
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