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The Morning Briefing: We're Open for Labor Day and the Rioters Are Still Morons

AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez
Lit Labor Day

Happy Labor Day, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends who are still operating on normal calendars.

We’re going to do a quick holiday version today. A briefer Briefing, if you will.

The mostly peaceful window-smashing, fire-starting protest rioters in the once-American city of Portland, Ore., decided that 100 consecutive nights of rioting was a milestone deserving of a celebration.

These people really need hobbies.

Imagine being so depraved that civil unrest becomes a cause for celebration in your life. Portland has become Baghdad on the Columbia in the past few months, a real American tragedy. These weakling soy boys who never got a kind word from their daddies think that’s a good thing.

I keep wondering what the long-term plan for the rioters is. I mean, they can’t just riot forever. They no doubt believe they can, but they don’t seem to be reality-based. At some point, they are going to have to begin participating in society again and the tantrums are going to have to stop.

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Maybe — as many suspect — they’re all trust-fund kids who can afford to do this for a while. Heaven help us if we’re facing a long-running plague of well-to-do white liberals who want to let everyone know that they are down with the struggle.

I want to feel worse about Portland because it once was a place that I truly enjoyed visiting. The people running it have been facilitating all of the violence, however, so the voters who put them in power deserve all that they are getting.

Victoria had the feel-good story of the weekend about the antifa idiot who tried to “celebrate” with a Molotov cocktail and set his feet on fire. Her post features a lot of great reactions mocking this idiot but this one set to the Footloose theme song was the best:

POTUS retweeted another of the Footloose takes the next day.

Again, the nightly scenes from Portland are probably the most effective Trump-Pence 2020 ads possible. Let these paste-eaters keep destroying this God-forsaken commie hellhole, and themselves along the way. You know it’s awful there because the MSM has been working overtime to convince us otherwise. One of the safest bets these days is to assume that the opposite of what MSM hacks are saying is true.

Now I’ve got to get to the tequila-infused watermelon I have waiting in the fridge.

Just Binged This, It’s Fantastic

Your Life on Democrats

PJM Linktank

This was brutal and a lot of fun to watch. Richard Grenell Unloads on Corrupt MSM: ‘People Aren’t Listening to You Anymore’

Another narrative unravels. Police Say Suspected Antifa Hit-Man Stalked Pro-Trump Victim Before Portland Murder

Detroit Police Banned From Using Most Non-Lethal Tools for Two Weeks

THANKS, OBAMA! Iran Inches Closer to a Nuclear Bomb

DRINK! Booze News We Can Use: Recipes for ‘Drunk-Dialling Your Elected Officials’ From ‘The New Yorker’

Antifa Shaping the National Narrative on Protests by Controlling the News

Armed Protesters Square off in Louisville on Derby Day

Dayum. BOOM: Trump Bans Critical Race Theory Training in Federal Agencies

White Professor Who Tried to Pass as Black Suspended From George Washington University

Get Ready for COVID-19 FEMA Camps

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Macron: ‘To Be French Is to Defend the Right to Mock’

WATCH: Jacob Blake Appears in Court to Faces Charges of Sexual Assault

Revolutionary Martyrs

Fake Viral Trump Quotes Are Nothing New

The Stephen King Election

Democrats Have an Unseen Advantage in Battleground States

Bob Dylan and the Rough Men

The Elderly Are Hardest Hit by the Pandemic. Do People Care?

VIP

The Kruiser Kabana Episode 66: Dear MSM: ‘Republicans for Biden’ Isn’t a Thing

The Fringe with Megan Fox, Episode 29: Ricky Rebel Rocks

Academics Give Aid and Comfort to the BLM and Antifa Riots

A Biden-Harris Administration Would Be Disastrous for Catholics

VIP Gold

Kanye’s Dropped a Pretty Penny on the First Month of His Presidential Campaign

Meddling Russians (And The IRA) Guilty Of Doing What Most Americans Do

From the Mothership and Beyond

Media Has A Newfound Interest In New Gun Owners

Police Presence Doesn’t Create Criminals

Looks like Schlichter and I had the same idea this weekend: Nobody Is Switching from Trump to Biden

The Feds Just Threw a Lifeline to California During Energy Crisis

Was CNN’s Jake Tapper Meddling in U.S. Elections?

Wealthy New Yorker Was Arrested for Rioting. Here’s Who She’s Politically Connected to.

This was stupid. Why the No. 1 Tennis Player in the World Was Just Disqualified at the US Open

WATCH: Kamala Squirms When Asked About Her Previous Stance on Law Enforcement

The Walls Are Closing: Biden Asked China to Help Make Him President

WaPo Gives Biden Four Pinocchios(!?) On Social Security Claim

Another Crackdown In Hong Kong

Governor Abbott Considers Placing Austin P.D. Under State Control

Dem Unions Planning Strikes Over Social Justice… Just In Time For The Election

Columnist Warns: ‘You Ain’t Seen Anything Yet’; Democrat Party Has ‘No Intention of Accepting’ 2nd Trump Term

Gold Star Husband’s Powerful Story of His Meeting With Trump: He Absolutely Respects Our Service

How “Kama-Lie-Alot” Harris First Got Her Reputation as a Serial Liar

Priceless: The Look on Bill’s Face as He Listens to Hillary’s Latest Rant, Trump, Jr. and Internet Respond

Need an Explanation Behind That Hit Piece by The Atlantic? Take a Look at the Guests at Their Upcoming Festival

Newsweek Pretty Excited 100K People Sign Petition to Remove Tucker Carlson From Fox News; Twitter Promptly Spoils Party

#WINNING. Campaign yard-sign war ends with brisket and alcohol, as all disagreements about politics should end

‘But other than that’: Data used to prove that protests have been ‘mostly peaceful’ exposes that claim for the absurdity it is

‘Ever heard of Dan Rather?’ Journo Olivia Krauth snidely claims journos don’t ‘just make stuff up’ and HOLY CRAP that’s a lotta backfire

The Washington Post gets a well-deserved shredding over this 3-word substitute for ‘rioting’

Cowherd has always been a moron. A-HOLE alert! Colin Cowherd shaming Americans who watch sports for an escape gets the THROTTLING he more than deserves

In New York, Catholic school teachers file labor complaint over COVID reopening plans

Queen Elizabeth’s Sandringham Estate Opens To Host Drive-In Movies

Smells Like Onion

The Kruiser Kabana

I can’t believe that this was just at the beginning of the year. Seems like ten years ago. It’s worth revisiting though. Most of the rough stuff is bleeped out but I’ll offer a little language warning anyway.

Don’t lose your keys, your passport, or your sense of humor.

___

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author ofDon’t Let the Hippies ShowerandStraight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.