The Morning Briefing: We're Open for Labor Day and the Rioters Are Still Morons

Lit Labor Day

Happy Labor Day, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends who are still operating on normal calendars.

We’re going to do a quick holiday version today. A briefer Briefing, if you will.

The mostly peaceful window-smashing, fire-starting protest rioters in the once-American city of Portland, Ore., decided that 100 consecutive nights of rioting was a milestone deserving of a celebration.

These people really need hobbies.

Imagine being so depraved that civil unrest becomes a cause for celebration in your life. Portland has become Baghdad on the Columbia in the past few months, a real American tragedy. These weakling soy boys who never got a kind word from their daddies think that’s a good thing.

I keep wondering what the long-term plan for the rioters is. I mean, they can’t just riot forever. They no doubt believe they can, but they don’t seem to be reality-based. At some point, they are going to have to begin participating in society again and the tantrums are going to have to stop.

Editor’s Note: Want to support PJ Media so we can continue telling the truth about the 2020 election? Join PJ Media VIP TODAY and use the promo code LABORDAY to get 30% off your VIP membership.

Maybe — as many suspect — they’re all trust-fund kids who can afford to do this for a while. Heaven help us if we’re facing a long-running plague of well-to-do white liberals who want to let everyone know that they are down with the struggle.

I want to feel worse about Portland because it once was a place that I truly enjoyed visiting. The people running it have been facilitating all of the violence, however, so the voters who put them in power deserve all that they are getting.

Victoria had the feel-good story of the weekend about the antifa idiot who tried to “celebrate” with a Molotov cocktail and set his feet on fire. Her post features a lot of great reactions mocking this idiot but this one set to the Footloose theme song was the best:

Omg! SOUND ON!!! 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/MeMUvzNOZt

— Tara LaRosa (@TaraLaRosa) September 6, 2020

POTUS retweeted another of the Footloose takes the next day.

Again, the nightly scenes from Portland are probably the most effective Trump-Pence 2020 ads possible. Let these paste-eaters keep destroying this God-forsaken commie hellhole, and themselves along the way. You know it’s awful there because the MSM has been working overtime to convince us otherwise. One of the safest bets these days is to assume that the opposite of what MSM hacks are saying is true.

Now I’ve got to get to the tequila-infused watermelon I have waiting in the fridge.

Just Binged This, It’s Fantastic

Hilary Swank wants to save the world.
Away is now on Netflix pic.twitter.com/Q07UXgkSHy

— Netflix (@netflix) September 4, 2020

Your Life on Democrats

It’s almost 3 p.m. Time to turn off major appliances, set the thermostat to 78 degrees (or use a fan instead), turn off excess lights and unplug any appliances you’re not using.

We need every Californian to help conserve energy. Please do your part. #FlexAlert

— MayorOfLA (@MayorOfLA) September 6, 2020

Smells Like Onion

‘It Wasn’t The First Birthday We Imagined, But We Spent The Day Surrounded By Love,’ Begins Elegant Tapestry Of Fabricated Embellishments https://t.co/uzlMQ3cz6W pic.twitter.com/9BiBfj6lAN

— The Onion (@TheOnion) September 6, 2020

The Kruiser Kabana

pic.twitter.com/pVYbUPnm0z

— mood:odd (@moododd) September 6, 2020

I can’t believe that this was just at the beginning of the year. Seems like ten years ago. It’s worth revisiting though. Most of the rough stuff is bleeped out but I’ll offer a little language warning anyway.

Don’t lose your keys, your passport, or your sense of humor.

___

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.