Booze News We Can Use: Recipes for 'Drunk-Dialling Your Elected Officials' From 'The New Yorker'

Booze Me, Stat

Some lighthearted fare for the long week is in order.

Let’s face it, this already bat-you-know-what crazy year is only going get crazier between now and November. There is a reason that our own VodkaPundit’s weekday “Insanity Wrap” is one of our more popular reads now.

Booze has been a constant throughout the plague and the riots. Lock-down happy hours may not be the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but I know they’ve helped break up the tedium here in the Kruiser Bunker.

Adult beverages have also been known to make cameo appearances on the weekly VIP Gold chats that VodkaPundit, Bryan Preston and I do here.

Booze is the fuel that keeps political types going, especially in the toilet of a year that’s been 2020.

The New Yorker, a publication that’s both insanely liberal but still has some great humor and literature in it, just posted a mostly tongue-in-cheek article titled, “Cocktail Recipes for Drunk-Dialling Your Elected Officials.”

Drinks for when you're on the phone at 9:30 A.M. demanding universal access to safe and well-funded reproductive-health services. https://t.co/2XtCnFIDSp

— The New Yorker (@NewYorker) September 6, 2020

Each each recipe concludes with a description of precisely which sort of booze-filled activism it’s best suited to.

Here is the recipe for the “Oil Spill,” for example:

“Kahlua, Baileys, iced coffee, vodka

Perfect for protesting pipeline construction in your neighborhood and beyond. Don’t forget to yell about fracking!”

Heck, even I might do a pipeline protest with enough of those babies in me.

Not surprisingly, my favorite was the final cocktail on the list, the “All Vodka,” which I may or may not have enjoyed in the past:

“Fill your favorite coffee mug with vodka. Keep going. Yep, all the way. Don’t worry about mixers or ice; this baby will keep you up all night drafting easily customizable e-mails you can reuse for months. Cheers!”

I am not condoning liver damage, my friends, but I’m not avoiding eat either.

Na zdrowie!

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.