Since Christmas, I’ve been on a mission to lose weight and get in better shape. I don’t want to say this to draw attention to myself, but I’m down almost 40 pounds since I started trying. I’m not going into all the details here, but part of my efforts includes a walk of at least a mile every morning.
This morning, as I was walking up the hill in my side yard, the thought crossed my mind: I don’t want to do this today. It would’ve been easy for me to walk back into the house and not complete the mile-plus. But I didn’t. I ended up logging 1.2 miles, which was satisfying.
I think I thwart a lot of my plans and projects because I don’t feel like working on something for a day or a week or a month. I have two novels that I’m working on, and one of them is nearly complete. But I’ve dragged it out because I don’t make the effort to work on it when I don’t feel like it.
Why do we give up on goals? I know that sometimes dropping my exercise goals is weather-related. I don’t like walking in place or on a treadmill, so if it’s too hot or too cold outside, I can easily say, “Forget it.” But there are plenty of psychological reasons we can give up.
Studies show that our brains can get stressed from the constant effort, which makes us want to quit even when we’re seeing results. Psychologists have found that if we don’t link our goals to something that matters to us deep down, it’s easier to throw in the towel.
Sometimes we also get stuck between our desires for instant gratification and long-term success. It’s easy for me to get frustrated that my belly isn’t getting smaller as quickly as I’d like while ignoring the progress in my face and my butt (sorry, but I have to admit where it’s working). I get extra motivation when I can fit into shirts that didn’t fit me just a few weeks ago.
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There’s a marked difference between failing to meet a goal and simply quitting.
“Somehow, failing has become a lot more acceptable in the realm of goal achievement than quitting,” Theo Tsaousides, Ph.D., wrote in Psychology Today in 2018. “While failure indicates strength, quitting implies weakness. Failure is a bitter pill to swallow. But quitting is a lethal poison that puts the final nail in the coffin. We admire people who despite failures, continue to pursue their goals and praise them for their perseverance and dedication. But we feel sorry, unsympathetic, or worse, indifferent toward people who quit. There is nothing to be learned from them.”
Tsaousides pointed out that scientists don’t see abandoning one’s goals as a negative. Psychologists hold that giving up might even have its benefits. Of course, those benefits don’t include achieving what one sets out to do.
If you’re spinning your wheels in a project or goal, instead of throwing in the towel — even temporarily — why not reassess that goal or project? Maybe you need to try something less ambitious to start. Or maybe you need to break the process down into incremental, more manageable steps. Sure, failure is disappointing, but you may find that you let yourself down more when you quit pursuing your plans.
In July 2025, I weigh less than I have in years. I’m going to keep plugging away because I have about 20 more pounds to go to reach my goal. And who knows? I might even keep going.
