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Michelle Obama Will Never, Ever, Ever Run for President

(Crown via AP)

With Slow Joe as their standard-bearer, Democrats are in dire straits going into the 2024 Election. The clamor is becoming deafening as panicky lefties of all stripes demand they break the safety glass, dump the incumbent, and draft Michelle Obama as their candidate.

And it seems like such a no-brainer. Buoyed by hagiographic media coverage and the slavish adoration of the entertainment set, Mrs. Obama’s positive rating hovers around 75%, with only 15% of people harboring a negative view of the former First Lady. (Who knew we were such a rarity?) So the woman would certainly go into the race with the wind at her back.

Add to that Michelle’s melanin count and plumbing. Democrats are enthralled by her configuration of immutable characteristics, judging it to be desirable beyond all other qualifications. Rational people know this to be a sorry criterion on which to base decisions of such importance as who will lead the free world, but here we are.

That said, the opportunity lying on a silver platter for former President Obama’s wife is hard to quantify. Imagine being courted to fill the role of the first black, female U.S. president. There are hundreds of millions of people who care about such things in this country alone, perhaps billions more around the globe. To be the woman to step into those shoes is no small thing.

As it stands now, that distinction is in very serious danger of going to the profoundly unlikeable and incompetent Kamala Harris, who is currently one broken hip away from the history books. Why would glamorous, saintly Michelle Obama countenance standing by and allowing such an opportunity to pass her by and alight instead upon such a mediocrity?

The answer is a disappointingly pedestrian one.

To clarify, the Obamas do not need to make money; they have money coming out of their ears at this point. It’s simply that in the legal graft-for-leftism system, the Obamas have concluded the public service portion of their contract with the establishment and are well into the life-of-luxury payoff part.

“Upon leaving the White House, the ex-presidential couple, married since 1992, have focused on boosting their earning power through lucrative speaking engagements as well as a $65 million publishing deal with Penguin for their memoirs,” the Daily Mail explains. Also, “Together, they set up their joint production company ‘Higher Ground’, signing a multi-year ‘eight figure’ contract with streaming giant Netflix in 2018.”

Because that is how it works when you are in the club. First, you perform a front-man service to Big Left, then you are paid afterward. The original service you perform is usually not particularly lucrative and may even harm you financially, but the reward will be worth it.

There are several forms the legal graft can take, with book and media deals being a high-profile option. The Obamas are but one example. Another notable lefty couple is the Duke and Duchess of Netflix, Harry and Meghan. After dissing Britain’s beloved royal family and leveling tawdry accusations of racism in classless press interviews, the ex-royals were gifted a $100 million deal from Netflix to create woke content. They also snagged a $20 million deal with Spotify (though they fumbled that in spectacular fashion). Even Hillary was tossed an $8 million “thank you” for tolerating the global humiliation of being married to Slick Willy before she even left the White House, raking in a total of $14 million from Simon & Schuster.

Seats on Boards of Directors are also a popular payoff for lefty soldiers and their families. (See Biden, Hunter.) And it seems like another failed left-wing politician or activist turns up as a professor at a fancy university every couple of days.

Also for our VIPs: If Not Biden, Who Would Top the Democratic Ticket in 2024?

Finally, there are speaking fees. Depending on how big a left-wing icon a member of the club is, he or she can pull down a quarter million dollars or more for a one-hour appearance. Under certain circumstances, that number can be much higher. Just yesterday, the sought-after Michelle Obama commanded a cool three-quarters of a million dollars for enlightening a gathering of European venture capitalists and entrepreneurs on how to “push past self-doubt while discussing the importance of inclusivity and diversity.”

“The Harvard graduate will be paid 700,000 euros for her appearance at the three-day love-in for European entrepreneurs, which is roughly the equivalent of $741,000,” says the Daily Mail. “Organizers said Mrs Obama had ‘topped the list’ of people that participants wanted to take part ‘year after year.'”

There is no denying that Mrs. Obama is someone for whom many, many people would vote. But when a woman can run her mouth and make that much money in an hour, she’s at the top of her game right where she is. As disgusting as the left-wing elite spoils system is, we can be grateful for it at least in this one particular instance.

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