Get PJ Media on your Apple

Zombie

Dear NSA

June 12th, 2013 - 9:52 am

To: doesn’t_matter@you’ll_read_this_regardless_of_the_address.com

From: zombie@z0mbietime.com
 

Dear NSA,

Constitution Allah Ackbar Tea Party bomb abortion patriot gun IRS Islam dog whistle Obama prayer tax surveillance.

There. Now that I’ve gotten your attention, can we have a chat?

If you have any pull with the American Psychiatric Association, could you please recommend to them that the psychological state formerly known as “paranoia” should be no longer defined as a mental illness? Asylums all across the country are filled with people whose only neurosis is the vague feeling that they are being spied on or followed by unseen powerful enemies. But now we know that everyone is being spied on every time they pick up the phone, buy something, use the Internet, or walk around in public — so it turns out that these “paranoid” patients aren’t delusional after all. It seems rather unfair to lock us them up and classify us them as crazy if our vague feelings of being stalked by the government turned out to be true.

To make sure you get this message, may I also say 9/11 Eric Holder birth certificate Bill Ayers drone Orwell Anonymous leak.

And in conclusion, just in case your algorithm has gotten overloaded, I’d like to not mention my private, personal opinions about the Second Amendment, Fourth Amendment, and Ninth Amendment (and you really don’t want to know what I think about the Sixteenth Amendment). For more information, please read the Fifth Amendment.

Thank you.

— zombie

PS — Tell the IRS that the best times for for my upcoming audit are Tuesdays and Thursdays, but unannounced visits from the EPA, FBI, OSHA or ATF would be more convenient on Monday afternoons or Wednesday mornings. And, needless to say, you can eavesdrop any ol’ time.

******

Cross-posted at PJ Lifestyle

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
"And, needless to say, you can eavesdrop any ol’ time."
--------------------------------------

As if 'they' needed encouragement - or permission.

At any rate getting 'their' attention has never been easier. I think I'll start using the catch phrases in this post in all my emails as a sig line! If nothing else it'll keep them busy. I encourage everyone to follow suit. Think of it as a Cloward–Piven type of strategy to dilute the results. If they are going to read emails let em read em all! Snooping bastards!
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (26)
All Comments   (26)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
Does saying "Benghazi was a US government hit made to look like a 'protest gone bad'" get me on the list?

Perhaps I will go back to the good old type writer and snail mail.

Zombie, I am sending you my ENT bill for snorting soda out my nose while reading this. Please in future mark with warning not to drink and read at the same time>
42 weeks ago
42 weeks ago Link To Comment
This is giving them the full "Delores Umbridge" treatment. The more control she tried to have the less she was able to secure. Brilliant, a way forward for all of us.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Gorgeous!
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Wait, you put "Allahu Ackbar" and "bomb" in your first line? They'll NEVER read your message now -- unless they want to get your advice on Muslim outreach.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Government needs to monitor all our relationships and web content because government required that cockpit doors be unlocked, pilots be unarmed, and passengers be meek.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Exactly. There are alternative paths to take care of the problem minus the spying. The government thinks they are too icky. They prefer this route instead.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
What a great header or preface to every email going forward. But I'd leave out the muslim components, just to remove any doubt that it's going to peg their detection meters.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
" "Dear NSA" by Zombie": classic future Internet response to any supposedly paranoid Internet accusation of citizens being watched or observed by a Government.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Doubleplusungood.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not one of your stronger pieces.

Where is the original reporting on the San Francisco Tea Party?

Nothing since the last election on Zombie.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
I just did a photo report on a Bay Area protest a couple days ago! Every now and then it's good to spice things up with a little non-photo humor.

A successful boxer mixes up the punches -- throw the same one over and over and it stops being effective.
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
Try:

9/11/12 Whistleblower leak Benghazi FLIR footage MANPADs CIA Al-Qaeda jihadis Syria Obama Reggie Love naked crack pipe NSA data insider trading

:)
44 weeks ago
44 weeks ago Link To Comment
1 2 Next View All