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Dear NSA…

Time to release the paranoids from the mental asylum?

by
Zombie

Bio

June 12, 2013 - 10:17 am

To: doesn’t_matter@you’ll_read_this_regardless_of_the_address.com

From: zombie@z0mbietime.com

Dear NSA,

Constitution Allah Ackbar Tea Party bomb abortion patriot gun IRS Islam dog whistle Obama prayer tax surveillance.

There. Now that I’ve gotten your attention, can we have a chat?

If you have any pull with the American Psychiatric Association, could you please recommend to them that the psychological state formerly known as “paranoia” should be no longer defined as a mental illness? Asylums all across the country are filled with people whose only neurosis is the vague feeling that they are being spied on or followed by unseen powerful enemies. But now we know that everyone is being spied on every time they pick up the phone, buy something, use the Internet, or walk around in public — so it turns out that these “paranoid” patients aren’t delusional after all. It seems rather unfair to lock us them up and classify us them as crazy if our vague feelings of being stalked by the government turned out to be true.

To make sure you get this message, may I also say 9/11 Eric Holder birth certificate Bill Ayers drone Orwell Anonymous leak.

And in conclusion, just in case your algorithm has gotten overloaded, I’d like to not mention my private, personal opinions about the Second Amendment, Fourth Amendment, and Ninth Amendment (and you really don’t want to know what I think about the Sixteenth Amendment). For more information, please read the Fifth Amendment.

Thank you.

— zombie

PS — Tell the IRS that the best times for for my upcoming audit are Tuesdays and Thursdays, but unannounced visits from the EPA, FBI, OSHA or ATF would be more convenient on Monday afternoons or Wednesday mornings. And, needless to say, you can eavesdrop any ol’ time.

*****

Cross-posted from Zombie 

Image via The People’s Cube

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
"Dirka Dirka Muhammed Plutonium Bacon."
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Love it;
Zombie; You may reduce your bail by making a substantial donation to the Democrat Party.
And you might be able to use the "twinkie defense".
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Funny essay if it weren't true, but since this is true, it really isn't funny after all.

Orwell, 1984, War is Peace, Ignorance is Strength, Freedom is Slavery


1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (18)
All Comments   (18)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
In "1984", it was "Big Brother".
In 2013, it's "Big Mutha".
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
So the world really is topsy-turvy - the tin foil hat crowd now has more credibility than the pooh-poohers. Can't wait to see what happens next...
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
It's only paranoia if everybody ISN'T out to get you...

Nevermind. Paranoia is now known as "informed."
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Hoard your ammo, hide your guns, home schooling, Bible, Patriot, anti-abortion, whistle blower.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Audit to commence in 3... 2...
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean that everyone is not out to get me!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Who would have thought Michael Jackson had it right with his Rockwell song, "Somebodies watching me." He was ahead of his time! LOL
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
correction: Somebody's Watching Me. oops.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
BRAVO!! I absolutely love it.

Remember the Alamo God bless America 2nd ammendment 1984 kool aid drinking lemmings Liberty Individual freedoms Constitution Declaration of Independence 4th ammendment
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"Dirka Dirka Muhammed Plutonium Bacon."
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Love it;
Zombie; You may reduce your bail by making a substantial donation to the Democrat Party.
And you might be able to use the "twinkie defense".
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Funny essay if it weren't true, but since this is true, it really isn't funny after all.

Orwell, 1984, War is Peace, Ignorance is Strength, Freedom is Slavery


1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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