It seems like only earlier this week [it was only earlier this week, Steve —Editor] that I had to apologize for breaking last week's promise not to write about California Gov. Gavin Newsom until he stopped with his pathetic attempts at faux-Trump attention-whoring on the Social Media App Formerly Known as Twitter (SMAFKAT).
In the immortal words of Whitesnake: Here I go again.
On the off chance that you missed the previous mock-brouhahas, the Most Authentically Totally Authentic Gavin Ever (MATAGE) hired a couple of hipster social media pros to write his most authentically totally authentic SMAFKAT posts for him — all in the mean-tweet style of the Bad Orange Man.
Everybody knows Oscar Wilde's quip that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," but Newsom's social media pros don't seem to know that the full quip ends with "that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”
Let's put Wilde's whole line in one place so even thirtysomething social media gurus might understand it:
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.
Someday, if he embarks on a new path requiring a much stronger work ethic than he's demonstrated so far during his all-too-long political career, Newsom might aspire to mediocrity.
Someday! Maybe!
Authenticity will remain forever outside his reach, as you'll soon see.
And Another Thing: Why didn't I think of SMAFKAT back when Elon Musk first changed Twitter's snappy and recognizable name to the meaningless and forgettable X? And, more importantly, why do I bother now that everyone is used to the new name, even if it is largely meaningless and forgettable?
I'm forced to take one more brief detour, just in case you aren't up on the latest Cracker Barrel news.
The shortest possible version is that Cracker Barrel's food and service have been in decline ever since COVID. So in 2023, the company hired a woke-ish new CEO named Julie Masino to turn things around. Instead of fixing the food, Masino ditched the Old Timer logo and old-time decor in favor of something closer to IKEA — but with somehow even less charm.
As is his wont, on Tuesday, President Donald Trump weighed in:
Cracker Barrel should go back to the old logo, admit a mistake based on customer response (the ultimate Poll), and manage the company better than ever before. They got a Billion Dollars worth of free publicity if they play their cards right. Very tricky to do, but a great opportunity. Have a major News Conference today. Make Cracker Barrel a WINNER again.
Also on Tuesday, Masino performed the kind of about-face that Bud Light can only dream of. "We thank our guests for sharing your voices and love for Cracker Barrel," the company posted to SMAFKAT. "We said we would listen, and we have. Our new logo is going away and our 'Old Timer' will remain."
At long last — mostly because I've run out of ways to dodge writing about him — we arrive at MATAGE's self-aggrandizing attempt to curb-stomp somebody else's story.
WOW! After Governor Gavin C. Newsom called for CRACKER BARREL to keep its old “beautiful logo," TODAY the company did exactly that! Thank you, Governor — America is grateful for YOU! pic.twitter.com/CRsfa9J0Po
— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 27, 2025
So here's the thing.
Whether or not Trump eats at Cracker Barrel, you know a major MAGA contingent does — and Trump's post spoke to them, even though (obviously) Masino had her about-face ready to go first. If there's a major Cracker Barrel contingent among Newsom voters, I'll eat both the cracker and the barrel.
I have to assume that one of two things will happen.
Either Newsom and his social media team will realize that they can't buy authenticity, and they'll bring the faux-Trump campaign to a merciful end. Or they'll keep doing Scarface-sized mountains of cocaine, and they won't.
Honestly, I'm not sure which option I prefer. But I do know this is the absolute last time I'll write about it...
...until the next time.
Recommended: The New Face of British Resistance Is Just 14 Years Old
Editor’s Note: Do you enjoy PJ Media’s conservative reporting that takes on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth. Join PJ Media VIP and use the promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your VIP membership!
Join the conversation as a VIP Member