California Governor Gavin Newsom believes in nothing aside from furthering the endless ambition of California Governor Gavin Newsom. This was proven conclusively in recent days by his social media campaign to reinvent himself as a Democrat Donald Trump.
Newsom’s personal X account is now a virtual clone of Trump’s famously combative style — the distinction being that Trump ran a successful business and entertainment empire before entering politics, while Newsom’s record includes self-dealing, spiraling budget deficits, endless billion-dollar promises to end the homeless crisis, a High-Speed Train from Merced to Bakersfield Maybe Someday, and epic forest mismanagement (leading to more self-dealing).
Newsom has the merde touch.
Recently, he's been on a tear against Vice President JD Vance with tweets like this epically tone-deaf example:
I miss that scarf. https://t.co/SPPkYRrV6U
— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) August 18, 2025
As Super70sSports replied, "You look like the villain in an 80s teen movie who was too evil even for James Spader to want to hang out with."
While I agree with Super70s, I'd also remind you that Newsom likely understands his supporters — and they probably thought that the too-evil-even-for-James-Spader teen-movie villain was the good guy.
What's the Burberry scarf appeal apart from die-hard Dems? Setting policy completely aside, Vance looks like the guy Americans want to hang out with. Neither Newsom nor his social media team — I'll get to them a bit further down — seem able to intuit that.
And Another Thing: I swore to myself that I wouldn't write about Newsom until his current social media cry for help ended. But as it turns out, not writing about a Democratic presidential hopeful is a lot like quitting smoking: Sometimes, you're going to backslide. The important thing is not to beat yourself up too much over it, and then get back to not doing that thing you swore you weren't going to do. So I swear to you that this is the last time I'll write about Newsom… until the next time.
Anyway, that Blue Enclave Bubble-Induced Tone Deafness goes a long way toward explaining what's happened to Newsom's press office account.
This is not an acid trip you're on; it's just another Newsom social media account with a blue check:
so nice! pic.twitter.com/mkOMRvAalh
— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 17, 2025
Newsom made the ghost of Hulk Hogan sad.
Who is this supposed to appeal to?
Then there's… whatever this is:
TINY HANDS IS OUT HERE COPYING ME — BUT WITHOUT THE STAMINA (SAD), AND CERTAINLY WITHOUT THE “LOOKS.” TOTAL BETA! — GCN https://t.co/AwjuS3div2 pic.twitter.com/OW8yXxmLYl
— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 16, 2025
I don't know who's buying Newsom's faux-Trump schtick, but they must get a yuge discount.
But I can't tell you who's selling it.
So please meet the duo behind Newsom's Napoleonic social media march into Russia:
Gov. Gavin Newsom's tweets are written by these two pic.twitter.com/OJGbAHepfk
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) August 19, 2025
One is Camille Harper Zapata, Newsom's Digital Director, and the other is Izzy Gardon, his Director of Communications.
I'm sure they're both quite good at their jobs — assuming Newsom has no desire to extend his digital or communications reach outside of the deep blue enclaves where people either somehow believe Newsom is a real presidential contender or are at least also in on the grift.
As one sharp X user put it, "Dems saw Pete Buttigieg’s 0% support among black men and said to themselves, ‘We can do that for our entire party.’"
Next up: white men, too. And pretty much everyone who isn't a neurotic white progressive woman.
That's no way to win a presidential election, but please, nobody tell Gavin.
Recommended: 4chan to British Censors: Get Stuffed
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