McDonald's survived depression, war, and too many recessions and changes in customer tastes on its 85-year journey to becoming the world's largest fast food chain with nearly 42,000 locations and "billions and billions served."
But nothing could have prepared McDonald's for this week's existential threat to its very existence.
They're back and wielding their fearsome boycott power, this time against cowering fast-food giant, McDonald's. By "they," I mean this guy named John who really wants you to call him Jai.
If Jai sounds familiar, you must be a Longtime Sharp VodkaPundit Reader™ with memories going all the way back to [checks watch] February, when Jai and his People's Union USA (not a union) drove Amazon, Walmart, and Target literally out of business (they did no such thing) with a similar "economic blackout" that hardly anyone noticed.
In case you don't remember my February column, People's Union USA (not a union) appears to be a one-man shop run by a guy who appears to be about my age. The website is nicely done, aside from the typos (like I should talk), but Jai's social media presence seems to consist mostly of getting various dinosaur legacy news outlets to run stories about the occasional "economic blackout" of various large corporations that might — might — only notice if Jai canceled his Prime membership.
And, of course, snarky columnists like Yours Truly, who can't help but mock so-called news organizations and the non-news stories they insist on running as news. What I'm trying to say is that February's one-week boycott of Amazon et al. that inflicted zero damage is now a week-long boycott of McDonald's that will inflict zero damage.
But enough about Jai or John or whatever his name is, because the real topic of today's column is the legacy dinosaur media's slavish devotion to any leftwing cause, even when it's just one zero-follow social media maven with delusions of grandeur.
In addition to coverage in seemingly every major outlet, Jason Lalljee this week gave Jai’s People’s Union USA (not a union) the full Axios treatment in the publication’s patented style: “We’re too lazy to write and we assume you’re too lazy to read, so here are the bullet points.”
Of all the bullet points — a startling number of which seem to show that lefty boycotts fail but conservative boycotts do sometimes work — my favorite is prefaced by this subhead: "And boycotting seems to work against diversity, too."
Oh, noes!
Again, from Axios:
- A 2023 boycott was initiated by conservative groups over a Bud Light promotion featuring transgender spokeswoman Dylan Mulvaney.
- Sales tanked in the year after.
As I recall, the Bud Light boycott wasn't against so-called "diversity," because hardly anybody noticed when Mulvaney got his stupid promo can of Bud Light. The boycott began after video leaked of Bud Light's brand manager mocking traditional Bud Light buyers, and saying she wanted to ditch them — and ditch them she did.
All that aside, this gem served as the second line of the Axios report [emphasis in the original]:
Why it matters: The group has led several widely publicized blackouts this year, but data reflects minimal, if any, impact from their campaigns.
Translation: It doesn't matter at all. Not one whit. Nobody's bottom line has ever been affected in any way by the People's Union (not a union). I'd wager that the only people at all moved by these "economic blackouts" are Longtime Sharp VodkaPundit Readers™ who (I hope!) have now enjoyed two absurdist columns at the People's Union's (not a union) expense.
Cheers!
Now if you'll excuse me, there's a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal with my name on it.
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