Insanity Wrap: PETA Pres. Says Come for the Vegetarianism but Stay for the Cannibalism

(AP Photo/Andreea Alexandru)

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk plans to be served up as the main course at her own wake. That’s the big crazy on today’s Insanity Wrap — an entire week’s worth of nuttiness wrapped up in one easy-to-swallow medicated news capsule.


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Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.

This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

In this week’s “How Long Can You Stand to Watch?” challenge, I made it all of 11 seconds. Maybe it’s because I’m getting old and losing my patience. Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I’m just pining for the ’80s and ’90s when Goth chicks were tough and hot as hell.

PETA President Says ‘Eat Me’ and Means It Literally

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk told Fox News on Monday that she’s updated her will with some very specific — not to mention illegal and gross — instructions for her executor. She wants her flesh fried up “with onions for a human barbecue.”

If that shocks you, here’s an example of PETA’s typical intellectual level:

PETA President Supports Cannibalism

It’s true that I would never eat a T-rex and neither would you…

“BECAUSE THEY’RE EXTINCT, YOU NINNY,” I want to shout at whatever purple-haired Post-Colonial Thought in Gender Studies and Speciesism major/PETA intern patted herself on the back after coming up with that meme.

But you can bet that if, someday, ranchers (instead of those greedy theme-park developers) bring dinosaurs back from extinction, there’ll be T-rex burgers on the menu right next to the bison burgers. Back when my kids were little, they’d have killed (humanely, of course) for dino nuggets made from actual dinos instead of chicken.

As Robert Heinlein half-joked in Stranger in a Strange Land, cannibalism is illegal and culturally unacceptable, not because we’re so civilized but because we aren’t. With the price of meat these days, how much would you really trust your neighbors if we didn’t place such taboos on eating people?

PETA wants to pretend there’s no moral difference between people and animals, which says much more about PETA than it does about either people or animals.

“The thought of carving up human flesh for steaks might be just the thing to jolt diners into kindness,” Newkirk said on Fox New Tonight, not noticeably stoned.

Her thinking, if you’ll allow me to be uncharacteristically generous and call it that, is that if Newkirk offers herself up as a not-so-tasty treat, people will have second thoughts about eating delicious ribeyes.

As if, lady. And pass the garlic butter.

Recommended: Apple Vision Pro: Who Is Supposed to Wear This Augmented Reality Headset?

Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…

I’m not crying; you’re crying.

One of my rescue dogs, Remy, spent the first year of her life outdoors in New Mexico and is still afraid of thunder. It’s terrible that she gets scared but wonderful when the first thing she does is come up to my office and put herself under the desk with my feet.

‘Bipartisan’ is Washingtonian for ‘Bad Idea’

Kyrsten Sinema
AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana
The Improving Digital Identity Act of 2023

Riddle me this, Batman: What do you get when a Republican senator from Wyoming and a formerly Democrat senator from Arizona get together to make us all safer?

A really bad idea.

Senate Bill 884 is affectionately known as the Improving Digital Identity Act, and its name and the fact that it came out of the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee was all I needed to know to get all riled up about it.

The bill promises to “establish a Government-wide approach to improving digital identity, and for other purposes.” But invetigative reporter Leo Hohmann — the only other person I could find writing about it — says the bill is “extremely vague and left wide open for bureaucrats and technocrats to require a digital ID to perform any function considered ‘high-risk, high-value online services,’ up to and including logging onto the internet.”

Emphasis added. Because OMG.

All those privacy protections built into popular browsers and browser extensions? Yeah, fuggidaboudit. D.C. wants to know everything you read about COVID lockdowns, Jan. 6, space aliens, whatever. For your own good, of course.

S.844 hasn’t made big headlines yet and let’s hope it dies so quickly in the Senate that it never does — but don’t bet your liberty on it.

In the meantime, maybe this would be a good moment to email Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.) and Kyrsten Sinema (I-Ariz.) and let them know what you think.

Your Weekly Dose of Mostly Peaceful Protest


If TRAs and LGBTQ+ ideologues really can get Muslims and Armenians to get along, maybe we need to send a bunch of them over to the Caucasus so they can bring an end to the fighting between Armenia and Azerbaijan.

Hell, we should send them even if they can’t.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: Anthony Bass Goes to Re-Education Camp

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One More Thing…

That’s a Wrap for this week.

Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.


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