I Have 1 Weird Theory About Charlie Crist on This Week's Insanity Wrap

AP Photo/Chris O'Meara

Charlie Crist’s (second!) (third?) political suicide is this week’s big crazy. Welcome to Insanity Wrap, an entire week’s worth of lefty nuttiness wrapped up in one easy-to-swallow medicated news capsule.

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Plus:

  • A heated treat when meat-eater greets PETA freak
  • Do you really know what’s coming if the GOP fails to take the House?
  • Green energy — duck!

Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.


This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

Masked Communist street thugs, gunmen, drag queens performing for eight-year-olds…

When I was that age, all I wanted was a few new Star Wars figures.

It’d be pretty much the same for today’s kids, if only the mentally unwell and their enablers would let them.


How Many Times Can Charlie Crist Commit Career Suicide?

Charlie Crist Embraces Joe Biden

You remember Charlie Crist, don’t you? He’s the Democrat Congresscritter from Florida’s 13th district who used to be the Sunshine State’s (nominally) Republican governor.

Despite an odd campaign, Crist somehow got himself elected governor in 2006 but then pretty much abandoned his post in order to run for Senate in 2010.

Except he lost. Bigly. In the primaries. To Marco Rubio.

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So Crist — again, completely opportunistically — dropped his GOP affiliation when the party’s fortunes appeared to be at a nadir.

He joined the Democrats in 2012 just with hopes of riding Barack Obama’s personal popularity back into the governor’s mansion.

Except he lost again in 2014 to Republican Rick Scott.

The onetime governor and senate contender is now an unloved backbencher in what is probably history’s least-popular Congress.

He won’t even be that come January because Crist gave up his seat to pursue another, even more pointless gubernatorial bid.

Charlie Crist might be the worst retail politician working at the state level.

As a strategist, he’s usually two steps behind the zeitgeist. He has the political instincts of a boiled turnip but without the warmth.

One of Crist’s first acts after winning the Democratic nomination was to tell Ron DeSantis supporters that he didn’t want their votes because they have “hate in their hearts.”

OK then — no vote for you, weirdo.

For Crist’s next act, he chose Karla Hernandez-Mats as his running mate. If you hadn’t heard, Mats is the president of a Florida teachers’ union that for 12 years “covered up for a teacher who pled guilty to sexual assault of a student.”

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Hernandez-Mats is such a staunch proponent of COVID-19 school closures that she had hearses drive by school board meetings in 2020 and accused parents of being “soldiers of faux rage.”

She even “tweeted a cartoon comparing parents who wanted to reopen schools to slasher villains Pennywise, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Leatherface.”

Even better: At a time when vulnerable Dems are actually running anti-Joe Biden ads, Charlie Crist is openly embracing him.

If Crist weren’t already the most unloved pol in Florida, he soon will be…

…in the middle of his own campaign.

How can he be so bad at this stuff?

Here’s my one weird theory: Charlie Crist never really left the GOP.

A dozen years ago he had a sudden realization that he’s just the worst politician who ever somehow got elected to office and that the best thing he could do for his party was pretend to be a Democrat and lose elections for them instead.

I know it’s weird and crazy, but is it weirder or crazier than anything else you’ve seen lately?


Previously On Insanity Wrap: Lefties Beg, ‘Fauci, I Wish I Knew How to Quit You!’


Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…

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Be that guy, cooly enjoying his meat kabob while getting yelled at by PETA fanatics.

(I know I usually post an adorable and completely apolitical dog video in this slot, and I promise to get back to those next week. But this once, can you blame me for going political?)


Quote(s) of the Week

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss totally, publicly contradicting and humiliating yourself.


The Craziest Person in the World (This Week)

This week’s craziest person is anyone who thinks that the GOP winning congress is a lock.

It isn’t enough to vote. You’ve got to give and you’ve got to volunteer.

What have you given or done yet? It isn’t too late.


Your Weekly Dose of Mandated Unity

AP/Reuters Feed Library
Oregon wind farm sees blades, bolts fly off as failures mount

Green energy — duck!

According to The Oregonian, in January, a delivery driver found some broken, industrial-size bolts on the ground near one of Portland General Electric’s towering wind turbines but did not know who to tell and used it as a paperweight.

On Feb 1 at 2:11 am, one of the turbine’s 11-story tall blades flew the full length of a football field and plowed a 4-feet deep furrow in a wheat field. The heavy-duty bolts that kept the blade attached to the tower scattered like shrapnel.

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This happened in February, but the news didn’t break until almost September.

Wonder why?

Exclusively for our VIPs: Let’s ‘Burn Straight White Male Librarianship to the Ground,’ Shall We?


The Real Minimum Wage Is Always Zero

Social Distancing, Netherlands, Robot
AP Photo/Peter Dejong
Bill allowing state panel to set California fast food worker wages, benefits clears Senate

Hey, Siri — I’d like fries with that:

The measure, Assembly Bill 257, would authorize the creation of a Fast Food Council to establish “sector-wide minimum standards” for wages, working conditions and working hours. The council would be made up of 10 members appointed by the governor, the speaker of the Assembly and the Senate Rules Committee.

The council is supposed to have a sunset date of January 2029, but I doubt there will be enough fast food workers left in California by then to bother regulating.

Or maybe I should have gone with “to bother sovietizing.”


A quick little something before we get to this week’s closing meme…

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One More Thing…

Grand Old Memes Hunter FBI Facebook

The Grand Old Memes guys left me speechless this week.


That’s a Wrap for this week.

Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.

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