Afghanistan Bugout: Xi's Up, Joe's Down

Welcome to Insanity Wrap, your daily dose of the best of the worst. Our Afghanistan Bugout — and China about to show the world how a real hegemon behaves — is today’s big crazy.

Plus:

The CCP takes a board seat in Facebook’s fact-checker organization
Biden’s Pentagon has a plan for everything except the things it needs to do
Face the Nation: Ford shows Biden how it’s done

Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.

This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

This avid MSNBC viewer, explains why “January 6th was worse than 9/11” 🤡 pic.twitter.com/68268a89Mp

— Libs of Tik Tok (@libsoftiktok) August 16, 2021

It’s been a long two weeks since the last Insanity Wrap.

Did anything crazy happen while we were on vacation?

Oh, right — this TikTok intellectual is and will remain the target of every Democrat get-out-the-vote effort even after he’s dead.

Sweet dreams!

Afghanistan Bugout: Xi’s Up, Joe’s Down

It has come to Insanity Wrap’s attention — yet again — that the U.S. just sucks at being a global hegemon, imperialist, colonialist, or whatever the anti-U.S. buzzword bingo Word of the Day is.

Afghanistan is just the latest example, but they abound going all the way back to the Philippines over a century ago. We took the islands from Spain with a promise to “civilize” and “Christianize” the locals (even though they were already largely Christian). Before long we grew tired of the whole enterprise and the only reason the Philippines had their independence delayed is that we had to take them back from the Japanese.

(The less you know about what the Imperial Japanese Army did to the Philippines during their occupation, the better you’ll sleep at night. Suffice it to say, civilizing and Christianizing were not the top occupation activities).

We went into Afghanistan to kill al-Qaeda and their perennial friendly hosts, the Taliban. Before long we got that colonialist itch to scratch and spent years and years trying to make Americans out of a people who clearly weren’t.

Leaving Afghanistan was a must. Leaving it the way Presidentish Joe Biden did, in a piqued rush and a murderous huff, was both a public humiliation and a stain on our national honor.

Now Communist China will come in to show us how it’s done.

It’s underappreciated that while we were busy jerking around in Afghanistan, Beijing was busy turning most of Subsaharan Africa into an economic colony.

They’ll do the same to Afghanistan, where there is an estimated trillion-with-a-T dollars worth of mineral wealth in them thar hills.

If recent history is any guide, China will pay protection money to the Taliban, while supplying them with enough weapons to keep relative peace by slaughtering infidels, enemies of the state, and anyone caught looking sideways.

Then China will fly in countless Chinese workers (they prefer not to hire locals) to dig up those trillion dollars at the lowest possible cost.

They’ll also leave Kabul in a permanent debt trap if China’s actions in Africa are any guide.

It will be awful for the Afghanis, who will be oppressed and exploited like never before. But Beijing has no qualms about filling the vacuum just left by Slow Joe, using as many abusively hegemonic actions as required, so long as they profit from it.

Insanity Wrap supposes the real question is: Did the Big Guy get his 10 percent?

Quote of the Day

The Lincoln Project lost interest in the Afghanistan War once it turned 18. https://t.co/uEwP2Apsox

— Max (@MaxNordau) August 16, 2021

That’s gonna leave a mark.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: Fourth Capitol Hill Riot Police Officer Commits Suicide: Welcome to Insanity Wrap Conspiracy Central

The Craziest Person in the World (Today)

Chinese Regime Takes Financial Stake In TikTok, Now Directly Linked To Facebook Fact-Checker ‘Lead Stories’

Speaking of China… speak softly or get the big stick:

Business records reveal the Chinese Communist Party has retained a stake and a new board seat in TikTok’s parent company ByteDance, which in turn funds Facebook’s fact-checking partner ‘Lead Stories’.

The news will cause further consternation over the TikTok app and its data. Such threats – including to national security and data privacy – prompted the Trump administration to attempt to ban the platform from operating in the U.S. – an effort quashed by the Biden White House.

For that, Insanity Wrap wagers the Big Guy demanded 15 but settled for 12.

You’d have to be the craziest person in the world to argue with us on that one.

Your Daily Dose of Mandated Unity

John Kirby has no answer for how he plans to get Americans still trapped in Afghanistan out of the country. pic.twitter.com/pEGxdFMF85

— Ian Miles Cheong @ stillgray.substack.com (@stillgray) August 17, 2021

Look, the Pentagon has plans for invading the tiny Republic of Togo, nuking Lichtenstein, and forcibly occupying all 37,540 Subway sandwich locations, on the off chance that any of those needs should arise.

Planning for everything, no matter how unlikely is the Pentagon’s job, although Insanity Wrap must admit that actually executing a plan seems to have fallen off the military’s to-do list.

But a plan for getting our own people out of a country we just abandoned?

Not so much.

And Now For a Brief Moment of Sanity

Harlem Businesses Want de Blasio to Bring Back Plainclothes Cops

If a conservative is a liberal who got mugged by reality, there might just be hope for New York after eight years of getting mugged by outgoing Mayor Bill de Blasio’s progressive politics.

See:

Last year, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio made a show of de-funding the NYPD to the tune of $1 billion, which included dismantling the department’s plainclothes Anti-Crime Unit. Now, with crime and shootings skyrocketing throughout the city, Harlem business owners and residents want the street crimes unit to return.

And:

In the 32nd Precinct, so far this year there have been 31 shooting incidents compared to 19 at the same time last year. That’s a 63% increase.

That’s why business owners and community leaders are demanding the NYPD put in place more comprehensive police policies.

“What we want is, especially de Blasio with his last four months to stop playing politics. We want them to reactivate the plainclothes unit, because, again, these shootings are reckless and senseless,” Marcus said.

Insanity Wrap is still hoping that in addition to refunding the police — in fact, even more important than refunding the police — New York ditches its idiotic and unconstitutional gun-control laws.

Not much hope, mind you, but with today’s news, we’ll allow ourselves a little.

Biden’s ’70s Show

After the fall of Saigon, President Ford hosted a press conference.

To his credit, it took over 35 minutes and he took over 20 questions from the press.https://t.co/YZHEes4CRE

— Michael New (@Michael_J_New) August 16, 2021

Insanity Wrap’s favorite part of yesterday’s address by Presidentish Biden was when he stormed out of the room in what looked to our eyes like he resented being called away from his all-pudding/all-the-time vacation just to point some fingers at other people for the crisis he caused.

That pudding isn’t going to gum itself, you know.

One More Thing…

That’s a Wrap for today.

Come back tomorrow for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.

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