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Who's Really Running the Show at the White House? We Now Have a Name.

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

The two things I enjoy reading the most are report cards for either of my boys with straight-As, or a Democrat-friendly puff-piece in a major publication gone horribly wrong.

Since report cards aren’t due for another three weeks, I guess we’ll just have to make do today with Sarah Baxter’s clueless revelation that Joe Biden isn’t up to the job of being president — and that he’s basically turned the job over to an appointee who didn’t even need Senate consent.

Hell, Baxter’s Times (of London) article even puts “President Klain” right up top in the headline.

“President… WHO?” I hear you ask.

Before we get to that, the The Times isn’t exactly a rabid left-wing publication. It’s owned by Rupert Murdoch, although admittedly that doesn’t mean what it once did, and is probably center or center-right most of the time.

Still, the tone of Sunday’s “American Diary” piece is uniformly friendly to the Biden White House…

…it’s “merely” the content that’s more shocking than a wet fork stuck in an outlet with no breaker.

For a taste of the friendly tone, look no further than Baxter’s lede:

The name’s Klain — President Klain. Washington insiders delight in assigning the White House chief of staff this mischievous title as the driving force behind the actual president, Joe Biden. The man himself, Ron Klain, would never describe himself this way, but his firm grip on the levers of government has enabled the 78-year-old president to cruise through his first 100 days in office without breaking sweat.

Fluffing is a most unserious way for a journalist to behave, but we’re all used to seeing now, aren’t we?

Baxter says that “although few people outside the Beltway” have even heard of Klain, he is a “powerful, confident operator” whom Biden trusts to “exercise power and take decisions.” Klain even “keeps his boss informed while lifting the burden of office from him.”

Goodness. And we’re only two paragraphs into the story.

If you had wondered who the power was behind the Fixodent, now you know. And if you had wondered if I should keep referring to Slow Joe as “Presidentish Biden,” all doubts have been removed.

From there, I’m sorry to have to tell you, Baxter starts gushing like Yellowstone as it unleashes an extinction-level event:

Klain, 59, has recently emerged from the shadows as the surprising face of the administration on Twitter, where he touts Biden’s achievements with gusto under the handle @WHCOS, for White House chief of staff. His output is very different in style to Donald Trump’s but equally triumphal. Among his latest tweets was a Reuters/Ipsos poll showing 55 per cent of Americans approved of Biden’s job performance, as opposed to 38 per cent who disapproved. He also highlighted a Washington Post article headlined: “No wonder the president has a bounce in his step.”

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to drown in a vat of Velveeta, now you know. And if you have ever wondered that, you might want to keep it to yourself (unlike me right now).

But back to the more alarming stuff, because if Baxter’s boosterism is notable, it’s only because it’s a bit more exuberant than we’ve come to expect.

According to Baxter, Klain is “the ultimate enabler” who “determined to secure Biden’s place in the pantheon of presidents, with Franklin Roosevelt and Lyndon Johnson.”

If Klain gets his way, this country will spend and tax itself into oblivion for the noble cause of proving what a big, swinging dick he is.

It surely won’t be because of anything President Porchlight is doing because, as Baxter writes, Biden is “pacing himself.” That’s according to a “seasoned official” who basically admitted that Biden isn’t capable of performing his duties — and said so “wryly.”

We’re supposed to be charmed to learn that the country is being run by an appointed hack with an ego so dense that not even light can escape from it.

Let’s give credit to Baxter for including this bit, however: A former colleague told her that Klain is “is so smart he doesn’t understand when he is wrong.”

And he’s running the White House, apparently without adult supervision.

Sleep tight.