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Insanity Wrap #158: Begun, 'The Grand Re-Opening' Has

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Insanity Wrap needs to know: If today is really March 352nd, 2020 in the Time of Our Lockdown, then could tomorrow really be March 4th, 2021 AD?

Answer: Not tomorrow, but maybe soon.

Before we get to the sordid details, a quick preview of today’s Wrap.

  • Colorado Governor who gets seconds on dessert still waging war on restaurants
  • Experts who get it wrong all the time aren’t actually expert at much of anything except for getting publicity and public money
  • Therefore, FBI Director Chris Wray is a very modern expert at law enforcement

And so much more.

Shall we begin?

This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

Fauci was wrong
 (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

 

Lockdowns: Which ‘Experts’ Were Right?

Dr. Fauci was wrong? But that’s unpossible!

More seriously, Insanity Wrap is more than pleased to present this sharp analysis from David Catron:

A year later, states like Florida that lifted their lockdowns quickly and eased other restrictions early have far better COVID-19 records than states of similar size, like New York, that stayed locked down longer and were slow to ease other restrictions. Specifically, Florida’s COVID-19 death rate of 144 per 100,000 residents is lower than New York’s 243 per 100,000 residents. Likewise, Georgia has a larger population than New Jersey, yet its COVID-19 death rate of 159 per 100,000 residents is lower than New Jersey’s 262 per 100,000 residents. This pattern repeats itself across the nation. Long lockdowns kill people.

As for our experts, it’s clear that Dr. Zeke didn’t have a clue. He was wrong about how long it would take to produce a vaccine, and his claims about the necessity of draconian lockdowns were sheer nonsense. Dr. Fauci, when it was possible to get him to commit to a single position two days in a row, was usually wrong. His latest flip-flop has involved school reopenings.

If you’ll recall, Fauci was recently given a ONE MILLION DOLLAR Israeli prize for “defending science.”

A million bucks for a guy whose scientific rigor, if we’re to go by the windsock-like consistency of his public pronouncements, looks like a lab experiment involving dangerous chemicals and multiple bunsen burners, and conducted by a small team of coked-up honey badgers.

Our experts failed us, time and again, and we keep giving them money and power.

That’s on us as a country, Insanity Wrap is chastened to admit.

The Craziest Person in the World (Today)

Sometimes a stage is just a stage.

Today’s craziest person in the world is anyone still buying into that “Secret Nazi Symbolism at CPAC nonsense.”

On the other hand, Insanity Wrap understands that “you cannot reason someone out of something he or she was not reasoned into,” so we also understand that there are kajillions of crazy people in the world.

It’s their right to be crazy. It’s our right — nay, our sacred duty! — to point and laugh at them.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: Who Is Doing Dementia Joe’s Thinking for Him?

And Now For a Brief Moment of Sanity

Grand Re-Opening
(Image by ktphotography from Pixabay.)
Begun, ‘The Grand Re-Opening’ Has

Maybe this is the kind of sanity that will last a lifetime:

With much more to come, surely.

When Insanity Wrap got the news about Texas yesterday we were of two minds: Good for Texas, but would anyone follow suit?

Within hours, Mississippi did just that. Again, we were of two minds: Good for Mississippi… and how quickly can we sell this house and move somewhere that’s fully re-opened?

When word came that even Gov. Gretchen “The Grinch” Whitmer was relaxing (if not eliminating) Michigan’s lockdown rules, well, Insanity Wrap knows a preference cascade when we see one.

Waking up today to the news that Granny-Killer Cuomo was being stripped of his emergency powers by the state assembly, our first thought was a truly awful one but we’ll share it with you anyway.

“Thank goodness he groped and harassed all those women since apparently, that’s the excuse the assembly needed to do the right thing.”

Up until late yesterday, Insanity Wrap had this lurking fear that the red states would reopen, and that the blue states would stay locked down. The resulting exodus of frustrated blue staters to red states would bifurcate the country no less than it did in 1861.

Only instead of the USA and the CSA, we’d end up with the United States of America and the United States of Karen.

[shudder]

Something along those exaggerated lines could still happen, if California remains under lockdown and the New York assembly takes lockdown power from Cuomo only to assume it for themselves.

In other words: The Great Re-Opening isn’t necessarily going to happen quickly or even uniformly across the nation. And never underestimate Presidentish Joe Biden’s “ability to f*** things up.”

(Insanity Wrap loves that Barack Obama quote, and the one good thing about the next four years is endless opportunities to use it.)

Those concerns aside, with herd immunity coming as soon as April 1, it might be that our long, national nightmare is finally ending.

We’ll try to forget that it was a self-imposed nightmare, like the kind you have during a fitful sleep caused by eating too much red meat and drinking entirely too much scotch.

We must remember, instead.

Your Daily Dose of Mandated Unity

When the director of the damn FBI doesn’t have the backs of honest street cops, it’s time for a new director of the damn FBI.

Or better yet, abolish the FBI, nuke the site from orbit (just to be sure), and replace it with…

…wait for it…

…absolutely nothing.

Washington no longer enjoys enough trust to have its own giant law enforcement agency.

Let them beg the states for assistance with enforcing their dumb-ass edicts, instead.

Insanity Wrap isn’t quite sure ourselves whether we’re joking about this or not, but we’re leaning towards “not.”

Here’s Another Damn Thing We’re Supposed to Be Concerned About

Open the Damn State, Governor Polis
 (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

 

Polis’ odd obsession with scapegoating restaurants

Insanity Wrap remembers that it’s only been since yesterday that we had to inflict our Colorado governor on you, and yet here we are again already.

Anyway, if you’ll excuse our childishness in this introduction, look at what the man who looks like he never missed a fourth meal is doing to Colorado’s restaurants:

Sharon Palmer has owned and managed Swirl Wine Bar in Manitou Springs with her husband, Andrew, since 2012. The artfully decorated interior space first began as a wine store before being converted into a restaurant and wine bar. The wine bar is popular for its brews, ales, and locally sourced wines. A family business, Andrew occasionally posts pictures on his Instagram account of his young kids helping out at the restaurant.

The governor’s obsessive-like focus on restaurants and bars has stumped Sharon Palmer. “I can’t wrap my brain around why restaurants are targeted when the data doesn’t point to them as main spreaders,” she wrote in an email interview. “My sister lives in Florida and her town, the restaurants choose their capacity. So far, it has worked out very well.”

For Palmer, this makes the most sense. She feels customers can determine their own risk by deciding which restaurants to frequent.

Sorry, Sharon, but Polis knows best, and whatever he knows is the last thing he was told.

And as near as Insanity Wrap can tell, there isn’t a single sensible person within shouting distance of Governor Shutdown’s ear.

Insanity Wrap weeps at the Californication of the state where we’ve lived for more than half of our 51 years, but the Democrat stranglehold is so strong that we’re not certain there are enough pitchforks and torches in the world to chase them all away.

One More Thing…

Insanity Wrap Drinks Alcohol
(Seen on MeWe.)

Have you ever seen priorities so out of whack?

That’s a Wrap for today.

Come back tomorrow for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.

Before You Go: Insanity Wrap is just one of the many regular features on PJ Media, in addition to Stephen Kruiser’s Morning Briefing, and hot-off-the-presses news and columns from Paula Bolyard, Megan Fox, Stacey Lennox, Matt Margolis, Tyler O’Neil, Victoria Taft, and more. But did you know our VIP supporters get all that plus exclusive members-only features, podcasts, and live video chats with your favorite writers? All without ads? And without any social media censorship? You can join the cause right here.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: Hillary Finally Finds a Victim of Sexual Harassment Who Deserves Answers