It’s another thrilling week of adventure and mayhem with America’s favorite couple: Florida Man and Florida Woman.
Most Florida Man Story Ever (This Week)
— Blavity News (@Blavity) June 8, 2019
Don’t you just love a happy ending?
Innovator of the Week (Early 20th Century Edition)
"Thought I looked cute, might delete later" 😘 —Unknown Woman, Tallahassee, Florida, 1900s pic.twitter.com/RatvnoI1w9
— Red Pocket Mobile (@RedPocketMobile) June 13, 2019
Did you know that Florida Woman invented the selfie over 100 years ago? Well, it’s true — or at least might be.
Truth in Advertising
— WPLG Local 10 News (@WPLGLocal10) June 12, 2019
“Honestly, officer, I just wanted to buy an icy cold Coke Zero. Caveat emptor and all, but are the handcuffs really necessary?”
She Likes It Rough; Him, Not So Much
I had to get up out of my chair and pace around slowly for a couple minutes after reading this. If you need more details, you can click on the link, but you’d probably rather not. Lesson learned: Hell hath no fury like Florida Woman scorned.
You’ve Got to Fight for Your Right to Shower
— New York Post (@nypost) June 13, 2019
Far be it from me to condone violence, but I’m taking Florida Man’s side on this one.
Florida Man: Freelance Crime Fighter
— New York Post (@nypost) June 14, 2019
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Authorities say a Florida man tried to convince deputies that the cocaine on his nose wasn't his.
— WSVN 7 News (@wsvn) June 11, 2019
Possession is nine-tenths of the law, pal. On the other hand, if stuff you find around your nose counts as possession, maybe we’re all Florida Man.
Indeed We Are
We Are All Florida Man https://t.co/z0kx7EvT51
— Ashe Schow (@AsheSchow) June 14, 2019
And that’s all for this week’s exciting edition of… Florida Man! Come back this time next week for more thrills, spills, and criminal hijinks.