It's Florida Man Friday
Florida Man and Florida Woman are America's real-life supervillain duo, and here are the honors they've recently earned.
Most Florida Man Story Ever (This Week)
The linked report claims that "police say he was acting erratic," but I say let those among us who has not been arrested after stealing a car, waking up the next day in another state, naked, in a chicken coop, cast the first stone.
And This Week's Chutzpah Award
Sometimes, Florida Man acts as though he thinks he'll never get arrested again, which seems... unwise.
Commodore Florida Man Runs a Tight Ship
Fortunately no one was injured. What might have set off Florida Man during a peaceful ocean cruise remains a mystery, even to Florida Man himself.
Domestic Bliss, Florida Edition
No cheeseburgers One cheeseburger were was harmed in the production of this Florida Man/Florida Woman epic.
Don't Try This At Home (Or Anywhere Else)
Since there's absolutely nothing anyone could possibly add to this story, please enjoy a brief musical interlude: Sunshine State Scandals, Set to Song.
Victim of Circumstance
Florida Man does not always seek out trouble, but it always seems to find him anyway.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Just a gentle reminder that Florida Man has his soft side, too. Anyone willing to risk his life on a busy street to rescue wildlife can eat all the bath salts he wants, as far as I'm concerned.
Does the Punishment Really Fit the Crime?
I for one do not, and never have condoned the use of tomato-based condiments on living human beings. Nevertheless, I do wonder if this "assault" really warrants a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. And if you disagree, then please pass the mustard.
And New to Our Florida Man Honors, the Please Get a Life Award
"Do better" is internet code for "stop enjoying things I don't like." Which is clearly not Florida Man's style.