News You Can Use

Florida Man took the day off, but that’s OK because New Jersey Man is always ready and willing to take up the slack:

Joseph Greenwood, 45, is facing a felony rap for allegedly purposely subjecting a police officer to “contact with a bodily fluid” during a June incident in Readington, a township about 50 miles from New York City.

According to the indictment filed last week, Greenwood was issued a summons by Lieutenant John Insabella following his release from police custody (Greenwood had been cited for threatening an assault).

Upon receipt of the summons, Greenwood placed the document “between his butt cheeks” and began “wiping the paper in an upward and downward motion,” prosecutors allege. He then threw the summons “in the direction” of Insabella.

Who even thinks of this stuff, much less does it to an armed police officer?