Sorry, but I can't drunkblog the President's pretend-major address tonight, in which he will reveal that the Republican plan is far inferior to his plan, because his plan provides tax cuts for everyone but evil successful people and increased entitlements and trillion dollar surpluses as far as the eye can see.
However, Obama's plan is also hidden in a secret location, and must remain there or else the evil Republican plan will eat it and poop it out on poor people's heads.
At least that's the gist of what the President will say here shortly.
But I won't be watching, because I'm enjoying a very nice Chianti before getting down to the serious business of Build Your Own Pizza night here at Casa Verde.
I do promise to watch it in reruns tomorrow morning, shortly before eviscerating it on a Very Special Trifecta.