"I am the very model of a modern Major-General"

So here’s what the modern President requires for a state visit to India:

All 800 rooms of five star hotel.

200 hangers-on.

His very own chefs.

A land fleet of over 40 cars.

A real fleet of 34 US Navy warships.

A $3,000 bottle of Scotch.

The removal of all the coconuts.

All for the low, low price of just $200,000,000. Per day.

Honestly, all President Obama needs at this point is a giant hat, a big red sash, and epaulets like loaves of Wonder Bread to complete the comic-opera dictator effect.