News From the Front

Victory in Europe!

BERLIN — Today Adolf Hitler announced a new war policy from the Fuhrerbunker deep under the heart of war-torn Berlin. Hitler promised that from now on, German forces will only shoot at Allied soldiers who are actually in Germany. Or those bits of France he still lays claim to.

Oh, and Poland and the Sudetenland, too. But other than those lands, Hitler says there will be absolutely no Wehrmacht attacks on the Allies, unless, of course, he finds them necessary to spur on the peace process.

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How is that so different from this?

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