Cheap Shots Department

Massachusetts Senator and five-time National Crisco Eating Champion Ted Kennedy will host a Senate hearing on obesity in America.

Which brings us to today’s Write Your Own Punchline contest. Here are a few to get you started:

Mr. Kennedy will be hosting the meetings in his small intestine.

The first meeting will begin immediately following Mr. Kennedy’s hearings on nationalizing the Krispy Kreme, Inc.

You might remember that the Senator failed in his 1980 presidential bid, haunted by memories from 1969, when he swallowed Mary Jo Kopechne whole.

Kennedy closed the press conference by saying, “Do not what your country does, do what your country says.”

OK, what have you got?