Only In The Guardian
There wasn’t anything uniquely Guardian-bad today, but there was a pretty hysterical (both senses) column about American network TV news by the reliably inept Matthew Engle.
Here’s what Engle thinks us philistines on the other side of the pond want for news:
I am still working on the technology that will produce wholly personalised bulletins that give the day’s news its true importance in a viewer’s life. Tonight’s headlines: BONG! Rita from Accounts smiled at me today! BONG! Speculation mounts that I’ll ask her out. BONG! Kev from Marketing counsels caution. BONG! In other news, economic shock as credit card bill arrives. BONG! Auntie Glad’s varicose veins get worse. BONG! America invades Afghanistan.
You can probably guess just how condescending and awful the rest of it is. Hell, he can’t even get facts straight about commercial time, or that Americans are watching more news than ever, just not on the Big Three.
You can’t get that kind of unedited idiocy just anywhere — it’s only in The Guardian.