The first witness in Donald Trump's trial for alleged "criminal" bookkeeping errors came with National Enquirer-worthy titillations about what a hot commodity the former president was back in the day. Prosecutors thought they'd burst out of the gate with a little razzle-dazzle and T&A, hoping that jurors would believe the witness had anything to do with the actual charges in the case. This is because — spoiler alert — the prosecutors' actual case is a "confusing" distraction. It's the "Seinfeld" of legal cases.
But since a Manhattan jury will likely convict the former president because Orange Man Bad, here's what happened in court with the opening witness on truncated court sessions Monday and Tuesday.
David Pecker, the former publisher of the National Enquirer, testified that he worked with Trump's lawyer to kill stories that hurt Trump's reputation or would be hurtful to his wife and family. This is the so-called catch-and-kill scheme, wherein sources would approach the Enquirer with an unflattering story about Trump (this applies to Hollywood stars and big shots), offer money to the people telling it, and then make the story disappear.
And it went something like this:
- Pecker reportedly would alert Trump's lawyer, Michael Cohen, about the titillating story.
- Cohen got three sources to sign a non-disclosure agreement for a sum of money.
- Trump paid his legal bills, which covered Cohen's incurred costs plus more.
All of the above is legal.
Reminder: A 2018 Letter from Michael Cohen’s lawyer to the FEC admits Cohen used his own personal funds to pay Stormy Daniels.
— Kyle Becker (@kylenabecker) April 16, 2024
Donald Trump was not a party to the transaction, and did not reimburse Cohen for payment.
This New York case should have been immediately thrown out. pic.twitter.com/xi0AdV11Pu
Now stay with me because it gets even more tortuous.
Related: Judge Says Trump Lawyer Is 'Losing Credibility' After Combative Gag Order Hearing
Prosecutors hope to prove a Trump pattern of using this scheme to "influence" the election outcome. Think Hillary Clinton and the Obama Administration running the Russia Collusion hoax, but as Trump's lawyer Todd Blanche said in opening statements, "Spoiler alert: There's nothing wrong with trying to influence the election. It's called democracy," and it's legal, unlike Hillary's CIA, DOJ, and FBI-aided illegal spying and frame up operation with media amplification.
For Our VIP Members: The Only Thing Missing From the NYC Trump Trial Is a Laugh Track
Undeterred, the Manhattan DA's office will now need to use heavy-duty rhetorical zip ties to convince a New York jury that Trump stole the election because he covered up these stories about alleged affairs. This is perhaps similar to the way Democrats conspired to kill the Hunter Biden laptop story, except instead of the Enquirer they used former CIA officials to work with all legacy media to convince 2020 voters that it was all Russian disinformation. Of course, they knew the laptop was real but figured, aw what the hell, it worked in 2016, and they wanted to get the band back together.
Prosecutors allege, though don't charge, Trump with stealing and "influencing" the presidential election. They're remaining mum on the federal connection but did allege a new state-connected crime on Tuesday. They say the NDAs or catch-and-kill were done in furtherance of a crime to influence the election.
This is why they need jurors to use those rhetorical zip ties to connect this pattern of catch and kill with the insipid and uncharged election theft to create an uncharged federal election law crime. This is to manufacture felonies to keep Trump out of the White House.
Don't feel bad. Law professor Jonathan Turley has said that "if you get even one millimeter below the surface, you're left with a really confusing case."
Are prosecutors upset that Trump didn't use campaign money and therefore incur a campaign finance charge? Apparently so.
Neither the Federal Election Commission nor the DOJ chose to prosecute this as a federal case. Why? Because it's not a campaign violation. Remember, we have 34 charges of bookkeeping errors in this case. The "error" they allege is that Trump said they were legal fees and not campaign donations — even though you can't use campaign money to pay private expenses.
Fox News reports from Tuesday's Pecker testimony. Note the salacious yet untrue slime they wanted to make sure the jury heard:
Former National Enquirer publisher David Pecker testified that he worked with former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen to kill an unsubstantiated story about former President Trump fathering a child with a Trump Tower maid.
Pecker's Tuesday testimony came amid the New York vs. Trump trial. He said received a tip that a doorman at Trump Tower, Dino Sajudin, was offering to sell the story and name the maid in question.
Pecker said he notified Cohen of Sajudin's intent, and Cohen said the story was completely false, but said he would work to confirm it. Pecker said the Enquirer ultimately purchased the story with its own funds for $30,000.
He said if the story had turned out to be true, the Enquirer would have published it shortly after the 2016 election, but they could not verify the Sajudin's claims. In fact, Pecker testified the Enquirer ultimately found that the claims were "1000% untrue."
Pecker later confirmed to prosecutors that he had never paid to kill a story for Trump prior to the incident.
Pecker also testified:
He also said he could be "the eyes and ears" of Trump's campaign when it came to killing salacious stories brought forward by any women. He said he thought it was likely that some women would come forward in an effort to sell their stories given Trump's history of being an "eligible bachelor" and "dating beautiful women."
Part of the prosecution testimony seemed to help Trump rather than hurt him, which, of course was the intent.
JUST IN: David Pecker just testified that he’s the one who told Trump women might come to him with stories, because Trump was such a popular bachelor who dated the most beautiful women.
— 🇺🇸Travis Media Group🇺🇸 (@TM1Politics) April 23, 2024
Apparently Trump was just planning a campaign run, but Pecker and Cohen were the ones… pic.twitter.com/WHa0T5AnBl
On Tuesday, Trump called on the "conflicted" judge to recuse himself over his Democrat connections. Fat chance. This is Manhattan. The only person going anywhere is Trump to jail for breaking his gag order. The judge's decision on the gag order complaint by prosecutors is expected before testimony resumes on Thursday.
Related: New York DA's Trump Circus Has Found Its Clown
The media have called this case a "hush money" case, but one of our crafty commenters called it the Hush Trump case. Touché. When a judge shuts up the defendant but not the other trial participants, you can't help but wonder if the fix is in. Where else will you read that in this censorious media world that we're living in?
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