The PJ Tatler

Zimbabwe's Excuse for Mugabe's Fantastic Fall: 'Even Jesus Would Have Tripped'

Robert Mugabe, the 90-year-old dictator of Zimbabwe and new head of the African Union (yes, how the hell did that happen), took a tumble in Harare on Wednesday after addressing supporters.

Photographers who got the lucky shot of the dictator’s literal fall were ordered to erase the images on their cameras, and the tyrannical government has set about trying to track down everyone posting the images on the Internet, TV or print. Which, of course, makes it go viral.

Luckily, South African media don’t listen and News24 even turned the fallout into a special report. Which is good, because the Zimbabwean government’s explanation was too priceless to be missed:

“President Mugabe yesterday tripped over a poorly laid-out carpet at Harare International Airport, but remarkably managed to break the fall before walking to his car, evidently unscathed,” The Herald newspaper reported.

Information minister and spin doctor Jonathan Moyo told the paper that Mugabe’s fall was not news as anyone – “even Jesus” – could have tripped in that situation.

“The misrepresentations and morbid celebrations of the incident by malcontents is the real news here and not the alleged fall as there was none,” Moyo was quoted as saying by The Herald.

“What happened is that the president tripped over a hump on the carpet on one of the steps of the dais as he was stepping down from the platform, but he remarkably managed to break the fall. I repeat the president managed to break the fall.”

“And to be honest with you, even Jesus, let alone you, would have also tripped in that kind of situation,” Moyo said.

Oh, the Mugabe memes…