The PJ Tatler

Boys Will Be Boys, Cops Will Be Cops, Which Somehow Results in a Felony Snowball Toss

What can you say anymore? If it’s not a public school in Texas suspending a kid for doing the right thing, it’s a Chicago cop slapping a 13-year-old with a felony for chucking a snowball at him.

You can call the cop a big baby, and you’d be right. If you called him that to his face, he’d probably arrest you on some trumped-up charge like those Austin cops did last week.

According to police, a 13-year-old boy was charged as a juvenile with felony aggravated battery against a police officer Wednesday after he hit the officer in the arm with a snowball while the officer was parked in his vehicle in the 4900 block of West Congress Parkway about 3:20 p.m.

Let’s shake our heads until our necks break at this next bit.

Local idiot educator Ray Fields felt this was a totally appropriate response to snowball-throwing.

“If [the boy] had gotten away with it, who’s to say what they’d do next? If it doesn’t stick to them now, they’ll be 16 or 17, and they’ll have a gun,” Fields said, adding that he has experience with local teens as a teacher and was the victim of a home burglary by neighborhood teens in 2010.

Cop and teacher — government employees — on the same idiotic side, slapping a kid with a felony for snowball assault. I’m so not surprised that you probably can’t even find my pulse.

I realize that the vast majority of police and teachers are not idiots. Most of them are good folks who would never dream of ruining a kid’s life because he threw a snowball. But the non-idiotic ones aren’t the ones making the headlines these days.

Kids of all ages should watch out: Throwing a snowball is now felony assault, at least in Chicago. Every snowfall will now be followed by a terrible crime spree. Snowball control cannot be far off now.

Does this mean that everyone holding a snowball may now be suspected of violent crime and shot on sight by police? Do you want to be the person who tests that?

More: Cops in Oklahoma killed an innocent man for no reason.