The PJ Tatler

Top 10 Texas Democrats' Complaints Against Rick Perry

On Wednesday, I received the same email from the Texas chapter of Organizing for America that the Dallas Morning News’ Todd Gillman received. In the email, the Obama team is trolling Texas for whiners to attack Gov. Perry.

The Obama campaign team is asking Texans to share complaints about Gov. Rick Perry, and compiling the critiques for possible use in Perry-bashing ads and other material – a sure sign the president’s advisers are taking no chances.

“Your feedback will help hold him accountable on the campaign trail, inspire fellow Texans to get involved, and introduce his record — his actual record — to voters across the country,” Hector Nieto, the campaign’s Texas director, told Texas supporters by email blast today. “Your words will remind him that even as he runs, he won’t be able to hide — a lesson he apparently hadn’t learned as recently as last week. That’s when his campaign explained that the positions he took in the book he wrote just nine months ago, like saying that Social Security is unconstitutional and `a crumbling monument to the failure of the New Deal,’ no longer represent his views.

“But what other Americans are just starting to learn about — and, frankly, reject — Texans have dealt with for more than a decade. It’s up to us to make sure he doesn’t get to run away from the truth.”

Nieto is so right. Texans have been dealing with the results of Rick Perry as governor for more than a decade. So right, in fact, that I’ve decided to draft a Top 10 list of the Democrats’ complaints against him.

10. Rick Perry is governor. Seriously, Democrats here complain about that a lot.

9. Rick Perry lives in a house that Texas taxpayers pay for. So has every other Texas governor, but that’s beside the point. Also beside the point: That Democrats were having their convention nearby when the Texas governors mansion burned.

8. Under Rick Perry, Texas still does not have a state income tax.

7. Rick Perry believes in God. For some reason, the Democrats in Texas have a problem with that.

6. Under Rick Perry, Texans are proud of Texas. Of course, Texans have always been proud of Texas, and Democrats have complained about that for decades, while insulting Texans and then wondering why Texans won’t elect Democrats.

5. Rick Perry has good hair. Very good hair. At many points throughout the year, this is actually Democrats’ number one complaint against Rick Perry.

4. Under Rick Perry, it’s harder for liberal trial lawyers to come up with scams to make themselves rich, so they can keep pouring money into the Texas Democratic Party. Or pay to keep major Democrats’ love child scandals a secret.

3. Rick Perry has cost the Democrats the Jewish cowboy vote!

2. Under Rick Perry, Texans’ tax burden is just too darn low, the state’s housing market is too stable, and too many Fortune 500 companies keep moving here.

1. And the top complaint that Democrats have against Rick Perry is that as long as he has been governor, there have just been too darn many jobs in the state of Texas.