The PJ Tatler

Unhappy Hipsters Invade Science

Thanks to upstate New York’s Cornell University — long seeking to raise their cache in the downstate realm of unhappy hipsterism — you may soon be able to experience the Sartre-style angst of the forgotten nameless urban dweller without even needing to grow spotty facial hair:

Cornell Team Builds Space-Time Invisibility Cloak

The theoretical possibility of an “event cloak” — a metamaterial space-time device that could theoretically conceal an entire event in time from the view of an outsider — has been written about for years. And while some bright minds have been talking about bending space-time to their whims, a team at Cornell was doing it. And it works. For 110 nanoseconds.

Yes, it only lasts 110 nanoseconds, but that’s a feature, as the true unhappy hipster embraces only that which is both alienating and fleeting. I should also point out that Cornell also owns the most alienating architectural structure in the world, this …

… which either represents two pigs at a trough, or two hydrogen zeppelins, their shape held only by air, and lightweight air at that, biding their existence until they inevitably encounter a spark and explode.

Bravo, Cornell, home of the “unofficial, unnamed” football mascot. Bravo.