Kruiser's (Almost) Daily Distraction: Where Have You Been All My Life, Screambox?

(Image: Stephen Kruiser)

When I first started going on the road to do comedy back in the 1980s, the calendar wasn’t always filled with gigs. Whenever I had a gap of several weeks, I would find a quickie job to bring in some money before I headed out again. It was easier to get goofy jobs back then — they didn’t do background checks or really even look at the applications for a lot of them.

One of the more interesting jobs I got was working for a videotape wholesaler that specialized in B Movie horror schlock. We sold videos to mom-and-pop rental places. Until I went to work there, I wasn’t aware that horror movies were filmed at the rate of about 10 an hour.

I soon learned that people love a good scream.


After I took over the Morning Briefing here in August 2019, I developed a surprising new habit. I had never been able to work with a television on anywhere near me. A few months into my MB stint, I began turning mine on when I was finishing up every night. It’s not really background noise, but what I’m watching obviously doesn’t get all of my attention.

I’ve been burning through streaming content at a rate that makes me worry that I may have nothing that I like to watch by the end of the year.

Until Screambox came into my life earlier this week.

During the Monday episode of our VIP Gold live chat “Five O’Clock Somewhere,” Stephen Green and I began talking about movies, which is something we often do. I mentioned that I still hadn’t watched the original Japanese version of “The Ring.” I checked to see where it might be streaming and that’s when I discovered Screambox, a streaming platform devoted to horror flicks.

As VodkaPundit and I began perusing the fine cinematic fare offered on Screambox, we knew that our television viewing lives had been profoundly changed. When I happened upon “Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre,” I knew I was home.

Streaming home, anyway.

Screambox has everything from silent movies like the 1920s silent classic, “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” to original programming to George Romero’s zombie gems. There’s campy schlock horror and some really entertaining serious horror stuff too.

Since Tuesday, I’ve been devouring content on Screambox while I’m writing. As I write this, I’m watching the director’s cut of “Hell House LLC” and am rather enjoying it.

Wow, he’s so dead.

These movies may not have the greatest acting, but you know what else they don’t have?

Leftist messaging shoehorned into every script — even the newer movies.

It’s a blessed relief to be able to watch a movie and not be waiting for the lesbian climate activist who moonlights at a drive-through abortion clinic to show up and whine about Donald Trump. I know you all feel me. I mean, it’s safe to assume that “Virgin Cheerleaders in Chains” isn’t going to be message-laden.

Gotta go — just found another movie featuring four attractive women heading to a house in the woods for a girls’ weekend. All that’s left to do is guess how long it will take to find the Ouija board after they arrive.

Click the button below to get the Morning Briefing emailed to you every weekday. Have your coffee with me, people. It’s free and it supports conservative media!


Trending on PJ Media Videos