The Morning Briefing: Progress! WuFlu Gets Dogs an Upgrade From Menu to Pet in China

We Mock to Survive

The Week Four WuFlu Wind-Down finds us all heading into an online Easter weekend that is going to require a little adjustment. And when I say “adjustment,” I mean “alcohol.” Well, that’s what I’ve been using for adjustment, anyway.

The three-note news cycle — virus, economy, and awful media — continues unabated.

There was, however, a weird twist on the Wuhan Chinese Bat Flu saga that bears mentioning, if only for the slight change of pace.

Treacher had a hilarious bit of reportage yesterday about China’s agricultural ministry giving the country’s dogs an upgrade from livestock to pets:

Last week I told you how the Chinese city of Shenzen is reacting to the breakout of COVID-19 the Chinese virus by banning the consumption of cats and dogs. I also told you how racist it is to talk about Chinese people eating cats and dogs, because it relies on the racist assumption that every single Chinese person in the world eats cats and dogs. Some of them don’t, you racist!

I was very disappointed in the racist decision-making process of Shenzen’s municipal government. You’d wouldn’t think Chinese people could ever be so racist against Chinese people. But now the racism is spreading even faster than the virus.

Jane Li & Mary Hui, Quartz:

In a newly published list of animals categorized as livestock in China, the country’s agriculture ministry made a surprising announcement… dogs are no longer to be treated as mere livestock, but as loyal companions.

“Alongside the development of human civilization and the public’s care toward protecting animals, dogs have now evolved from being traditional livestock to companion animals,” the notice dated April 8 read (link in Chinese)…

Around 10 million dogs and four million cats are estimated to be slaughtered and eaten in China every year, according to Hong Kong-based animal welfare group Animals Asia, but the practice is coming under increasing criticism from the country’s growing ranks of pet lovers.

I encourage you to read the whole post because Treacher doesn’t waste a word in his satirical takedown.

As I wrote last week, I am more than comfortable with saying all of the bad things about China now. Cultural sensitivity be damned. Commies lied, people died. So yeah, I will ridicule their bat, cat, and dog-eating ways, all the while advocating for a painful but necessary economic breakup with the ChiComs.

I celebrate Canine Emancipation Day in China, thrilled for the nation’s pups.

My cat, however, is curious about his cousins’ status over there.

This Will Be Everyone by the End of Next Week

pic.twitter.com/uxX03DLd76

— Archillect (@archillect) April 10, 2020

A Round of Appreciative Applause Is in Order

"Giant hug": Structures nationwide light up in bright blue to thank pandemic front line workers https://t.co/dnDjxM9eEW pic.twitter.com/5fKDLGel3u

— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 10, 2020

PJM Linktank

My latest column: MSNBC’s Chris Hayes Has the Coldest Hot Takes in All of Liberal Hackdom

Not unhinged at all. Woman Who Claims to Be a Nurse Threatens to Withhold a Ventilator From Trump Supporters

UPDATE: Pence Reverses Course, Allows Coronavirus Task Force Members To Appear on CNN

ENDORSED. It Begins: Japan Budgets to Help Firms Pull Manufacturing Out of China

The last thing this plague needs is restricted access to booze. World’s Worst Mayor Slaps 9 PM Curfew on Chicago Liquor Sales for No Reason

Schumer is human garbage. Here We Go Again: Dems Hold Paycheck Protection Bill Hostage for Politicians’ Perks

Who Is WHO Director Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus?

Dr. Fauci Cuts COVID-19 Death Projection Almost in Half From Just 10 Days Ago

Throw the fascist cops that did it off the force. Colorado Police ‘Deeply Sorry’ for Arresting Father Caught Playing Ball With His Daughter In an Empty Park

Uh-Oh. South Korea Reports That Coronavirus ‘Reactivates’ in Some Patients Thought Cured

VodkaPundit: Ocasio-Cortez Faces Well-Financed Challenger in June Democratic Primary

WATCH: Police Slap Christians With $500 Fines for Attending Drive-In Worship Service

Passover in the Time of COVID-19

Our Hope in Christ’s Victory Over Death

VIP

Me: ‘Alexa, What’s My Analprint?’: Welcome to the Disease-Detecting ‘Smart Toilet’

5 Things Need to Happen Before America Reopens, Say Heritage Coronavirus Commissioners

AG Barr Warns of ‘Slippery Slope’ Away from Civil Liberties After ‘Draconian’ COVID-19 Measures

VIP Gold

Bernie Spox: The DNC Might Be Plotting To Swap Out Biden, You Know

From the Mothership and Beyond

Bonus Schlichter: Economic Illiterates Are Running Amok

#Priorities. Bloomberg: Hard-won plastic bag bans are at risk of being overturned due to coronavirus

WaPo contributor checks out how the COVID-19 pandemic is going on Earth 2 with President Hillary Clinton

Boris Johnson is out of the ICU, and Comfortably Smug has started a meme party to celebrate

Dick’s Sporting Goods Furloughs Most Employees

VA Del. Nick Freitas Is Making The Argument For 2A Rights

Carville: November Will Be A Democratic Wipeout After This Coronavirus Fiasco — If We Get A Level Playing Field

Say it with me: Enemy of the People. Harris Poll Shows Broad Bipartisan Consensus On China’s Lying About COVID-19 — So Why Does Media Use Their Data?

Sweden’s Coronavirus Approach Is Starting To Look Like A Mistake

In Iran, 600 Have Died From Drinking Pure Alcohol To ‘Cure’ The Coronavirus

Fauci: We Could Still Save The Summer If We Take Care Of The COVID-19 Shark Now

No. NY Times: Now Is The Time To Feel The Bern And Embrace ‘Activist Government’

DoorDash will cut commissions by 50 percent for local restaurants through the end of May

Disney+ surpasses 50 million subscribers in just 5 months

That’s What Dennis Quaid Gets for Praising Trump

CNN Discovers There’s A Price to Pay for Not Airing Trump’s Wuhan Coronavirus Pressers

California Sees First Decrease in Number of ICU Hospitalizations

CNN Runs Interference for Senate Dems After Blocking Paycheck Protection Funding

Here’s Chris Van Hollen Complaining He Had to Come Back to the Senate to Vote on More PPP Funding

Survey Shows Overwhelming Majority of Doctors Would Prescribe Hydroxychloroquine to a Family Member With Wuhan Coronavirus

Cue the Liberal Implosion: Trump Has Highest Approval of His Presidency      

New Trump Ad Ties Biden to China, Corruption, Lies, and Dementia in One Short Minute

James Woods Calls out Liberal Commentator for Bizarre Rant Against Employers Forced to Lay off Workers

Wuhan Virus Numbers: Nightly Update April 9, 2020-As Of 2359GMT

Alyssa Milano Urges Americans To Keep Safe By Not Buying Guns Amid COVID-19 Outbreak. But There’s A Problem.

Coronavirus After-Effects: 5 Habits I Think I’ll Keep

Bomb China. China Restricted Travel on Hubei to Prevent Spread to Rest of China, But Let People Fly to Rest of the World

New Study Seeks to Determine if California Had “Herd Immunity” From Early Coronavirus Exposure

Trump officials hint at reopening parts of economy in May

Mad magazine was my boyhood jam. Mort Drucker Dies: Famous Fans Post Favorites From Mad Magazine TV & Movie Caricaturist

For thousands, coronavirus delays reception into Catholic Church

TRIPLE HEADER!

All three of my satire faves had home runs and I couldn’t pick one.

Bee Me

Researchers Delay Coronavirus Vaccine Until They Figure Out How To Make It Cause Autism https://t.co/W9Gck0oEZq

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 9, 2020

Smells Like Onion

‘New York Times’ Pledges To Cover Biden Sexual Assault Allegations In Upcoming Crossword https://t.co/P0QIc7JgrN pic.twitter.com/r8fDYTuPls

— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 9, 2020

Reduct This

Man Learning Guitar Plans to Ruin First Party After This is All Over: https://t.co/H5tFh1UmsT pic.twitter.com/ZLD1sJ6EES

— Reductress (@Reductress) April 9, 2020

The Kruiser Kabana

Cobh, Irelandhttps://t.co/Yc6Q1rcNbO pic.twitter.com/GQAuun6Hta

— Architecture Hub (@architecturehub) April 10, 2020

There are a couple of really good moments in this one.

Week 4 wrap-up: I wonder if beer, jalapeños, and cheesecake are a good breakfast combo?

___

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”