Dear DSA: How to Destroy the 5 Democrats Who Want to Be President

Dear DSA:

You and I — are we really so different? Why, I think not! We both live on planet earth, and… well, I’m sure we have lots of other stuff in common, too.

Enough to build a friendship.

So I say this with peace and love: You’ve been on an impressive winning streak — whacking around the Democratic establishment like they’re a flippin’ piñata — but thus far, all your gains have been incremental. A mayor’s seat here or a Senate nominee there. (Yawn.)

Sorry, comrade. That won’t lead you to your workers’ paradise — at least, not anytime soon. You’ve got to think bigger. Way bigger.

C’mon, you guys are supposed to be revolutionaries!

If you want to change the world, you need to do what the Republicans did and start at the top. The MAGA movement didn’t fiddle around with mayoral races; we had the cojones to target the top prize.

So should you. The Democrats, after all, didn’t invite you into their party without fully knowing your beliefs. (You literally publish manifestos!) Yet they welcomed and accepted you anyway, because they needed your votes.

And a deal’s a deal.

Because that’s the unspoken agreement: In exchange for DSA votes in the general election, DSA voters get to influence who the Democrats nominate for office. It’s how you got Zohran Mamdani and Abdul El-Sayed on a major party’s ticket. 

Furthermore, this agreement won’t expire on Election Day 2026. In fact, the opposite is true: The midterms are the calm before the storm.

Because in 2028, the DSA will be headhunting Democratic frontrunners.

You have no choice. That’s politics works: You can’t simply build your preferred candidate up; you must also tear the opposition down.

Each vanquished enemy puts the DSA closer to capturing the presidential nomination.

Which sounds like a super-fun project! And in the name of friendship, I’d like to help.

‘Cause honestly? You’d benefit from outside assistance.

We’re all prisoners of our own perspective. We know what we know — and we guess the rest. And because DSA membership mostly consists of overeducated white people, your messaging falters in Flyover Country: Outside of bright blue cities, college towns, and Muslim strongholds, your win rate nosedives.

There’s no shame in having blind spots. We all have them. It’s why an outsider’s perspective is so valuable. 

So, without any further ado, here’s your DSA strategy memo on how to destroy the five Democratic presidential frontrunners:

Candidate One: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Vulnerability: Being an idiot.

Most of the country thinks AOC is too radical. You purists at the DSA know she’s actually not radical enough. (We’ve got no time for a corporate Zionist squish such as AOC, amiright?)

But in Flyover Country, attacking AOC for being “too moderate” won’t work. That’s not her Achilles’ heel; it’s not her reputational vulnerability.

Her weakness is her brain: The public suspects she’s stupid. When she’s quizzed on policy, she comes across like a doofus lightweight:

Many on the left are hoping AOC makes a run for the Senate or even the WH.

She finally got a chance to shine on a global stage in Munich and prove herself as presidential.

It was a disaster. Kamala 2.0.

Here's her answer to a question on Taiwan.pic.twitter.com/7ng4xhqy6y

— David Joe May (@TheGrayRider) February 14, 2026

That’s how to destroy her: AOC doesn’t know her ABCs. She’s a dummy — an empty vessel who cosplays as a Marxist in overpriced “Tax the Rich” evening gowns without getting the irony. She’s just not smart enough to be president.

Consult the Dan Quayle playbook and attack accordingly.

Candidate Two: Jon Ossoff

Vulnerability: Nastiness, dirt, and deception.

Every few months, the Democrats fall in love. (And every few months, they fall out of it.) They’re perpetually on the lookout for the next JFK.

Today, it’s Jon Ossoff. According to Kalshi, he’s the new Democratic frontrunner in 2028.

He’s handsome. Not even 40. He sounds like Barack Obama, and has very nice hair. (Which ain’t cheap: Ossoff spends more on hair and makeup than any other Senate candidate, male or female.)

What makes him appealing is his youth and newness. Scandal does not taint him; dirt and filth do not touch him. Which is why the Democrats are swooning: He’s a fresh face and a blank slate.

Blank enough for the Democrats to project their hopes, wishes, biases, and aspirations.

Ossoff will likely capitalize on this with vague, aspirational sloganeering, because the JFK card is a winner. It carried a young Obama to the finish line. Why not Ossoff?

And the best way to negate it is by dirtying Ossoff up, muddying his clothes, and deep-sixing his likability.

Without his youth and likability, Ossoff has no point-of-difference; there’s nothing special about him. It’s why attacking Natalie Harp was a high-risk move: Nastiness and likability are like oil and water. 

They don’t mix.

There are already rumblings about Ossoff being two-faced on Israel. The DSA should build on this, branding him as a nasty, dirty, unlikable liar. Turn his biggest branding asset into a negative.

(But don’t play the Jew card yet. We’re saving that for later.)

Candidate Three: Kamla Harris

Vulnerability: Electability.

As a minority female with ties to the Indian and black communities, Harris has a pitch-perfect resume for today’s Democratic Party. On paper, she’s everything the base is looking for.

But in actuality, she’s a disaster. Nobody likes her. She’s too weird for the moderates, too moderate for the libs — and too much of a loser for the base. They still blame her for Trump’s victory.

And they’re afraid she’d lose in 2028, because the American people don’t like her.

They didn’t vote for her in the 2020 primaries. She was pushed on them in 2024 — and that was a catastrophe. Nobody on the left wants to watch the S.S. Kamala Harris sink for a third time.

Her only asset is her electability. She was the first female minority vice president, and because she’s been on a major ticket in back-to-back presidential elections, there’s a plausibility to her candidacy. On paper, she’s credible.

But if you take that away, she’s dead in the water. 

Call her “Can’t Win Kamala,” strip away her electability — and down goes Harris.

Candidate Four: Josh Shapiro

Vulnerability: Too Jewy.

I mean, his name is Shapiro. (Unlike Ossoff, he doesn’t even have the courtesy of a name with plausible deniability.) And he was actually a volunteer in the IDF!

That’s not gonna fly in a political party that’s convinced that Israel is guilty of genocide, as well as of the moral superiority of the Palestinian cause, and is steeped in hatred for Zionism. It’s a lost cause.

Solution?

Emphasize his last name of “Shapiro” and use it as a dog whistle. A few AI-created images of Shapiro slaughtering Palestinians in an IDF uniform would help, too.

Either way, “Genocide Josh” might toss his hat yarmulke in the ring, but a strong, organized DSA response will make it clear that people such as Shapiro aren’t welcome in YOUR political party. (You know what I mean.)

Candidate Five: Gavin Newsom

Vulnerability: California corporate sleazebag.

Newsom’s hair is too good, his face is too perfect, his look is too presidential, his clothes too tailored.

It’s too much.

If you were a Hollywood casting director, Gavin Newsom would be on your shortlist to play president. Superficially, he’s the total package. He checks all the visual boxes.

Yet people don’t trust him. There’s something fundamentally phony about him. Something vacuous and untrustworthy.

He’s too Californian.

All politicians lie, but the really good ones hide it. Newsom plays a weird game where he acknowledges the hypocrisy and speaks with a wink, but instead of coming across as honest and sincere, it seems self-serving, phony, and calculated.

He’s a Bill Clinton-style politician in an age of socialism. He’s the wrong man at the wrong time, because the DSA craves authenticity — not triangulation.

You want a revolutionary, not a schemer.

So attack him as a California corporatist who’s sleazy, phony, and fake. He’s a rich white man (gross!) with financial ties to Silicon Valley. He’s not for the people — he’s for the corporations.

California is a hellhole, but obviously, you can’t blame the boneheaded socialist policies and nanny-state excesses. That’s counterproductive.

Instead, attack Gavin Newsom: His sleazy corporate ties have failed the state. If he weren’t such a weak-willed, feather-fisted, say-anything politician, California would’ve prospered.

It’s not socialism’s fault. It’s Newsom’s fault!

Five Democratic frontrunners. Five ways the DSA can destroy ‘em. 

(You’re welcome, comrade.)

‘Cause hey, what are friends for?

One Last Thing: 2026 will reach a crescendo with the midterm elections. Nothing less than the future of our country teeters in the balance.

Never before have the political battle lines been so clearly defined. Blue wave or red wall, the 2026 midterms will transform our country.

We need your help to win the information war!

As a PJ Media VIP member, you’ll receive exclusive access to our behind-the-paywall content, commenting privileges, and an ad-free experience. VIP Gold gets you the same level of “insider access” across our entire family of sites (PJ Media, Townhall, RedState, twitchy, Hot Air, and Bearing Arms). That means: More stories, more videos, more content, more fun, more conservatism, more EVERYTHING!

And if you CLICK HERE and use the promo code FIGHT you’ll receive a Trumpian 60% discount!

Thank you for your consideration.