Greta Thunberg Is a Hideous, Disgusting Viking Colonizer

Her ancestors were Vikings. And they, too, would sail to foreign lands. Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t all unicorns and sunshine.

Historians called it “raping and pillaging.”

So there’s a glorious cultural symmetry to Swedish activist Greta Thunberg’s merry voyage to Gaza. And Greta, of course, is the Albert Einstein of our age: She was a climate scientist as a teenager, and after that got old and boring, she became an instant expert in Middle East politics, war, and governance.

(If only she’d dedicate that powerful mind of hers to curing cancer: Those malignant tumors wouldn’t stand a chance.)

This week, for the second time in a row, Israeli forces intercepted Thunberg’s floating flotilla of fun. Her first voyage produced the adorable photo of Greta grabbing a sandwich and grinning like a loon:

Greta Thunberg smiles as an Israeli soldier offers her a sandwich in a plastic wrapper. The best photo of the war. pic.twitter.com/wW76mju10S
— Eylon Levy (@EylonALevy) June 9, 2025

It remains unclear why her Kermit the Frog hat was missing an eyeball. Suspecting “foul play,” Al Jazeera promptly accused Israel of war crimes; a U.N. investigation is now underway.

Her latest excursion was halted about 70 nautical miles away from Gaza. This probably saved her life: If she had landed in Gaza and fallen into the hands of Hamas and/or Hamas sympathizers, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have gotten a delicious sandwich this time.

Chances are, she’d be a hostage.

Which would create a vexing moral dilemma for her well-wishers and supporters: On one hand, Greta Thunberg is a leftwing hero, a child prodigy, and an international icon. But on the other hand, now she’s a hostage… and leftwingers don’t care EVEN A LITTLE BIT about the hostages!

They’d probably yawn, say “Greta who?” and blame Israel anyway.

As she set sail for the Mediterranean, Thunberg stressed the importance of an independent Palestinian state. Furthermore, simply recognizing Palestinian statehood isn't enough: We need action!

From the Reuters article, "Greta Thunberg says recognition of Palestinian State must be paired with ‘real action’":

Climate campaigner Greta Thunberg on Tuesday challenged countries that have recognised a Palestinian state to back up what she called "symbolic gestures" with more pressure on Israel to end its offensive on the Gaza Strip.
Thunberg is attempting to reach Gaza on a flotilla of boats aiming to break Israel's naval blockade and deliver food and other humanitarian supplies to the shattered enclave.
"Of course it's good that the Palestinian cause is more on the agenda, but these symbolic gestures will lead nowhere unless they are accompanied with real action," Thunberg told Reuters via video conference while at sea near Greece.
She said states had a legal duty to do everything in their power to stop what a United Nations Commission of Inquiry and human rights groups have described as "genocide".
Israel denies its military campaign in Gaza amounts to genocide. It says recognition of a Palestinian state gives a "reward to terrorism".

Lots of folks on the left are also demanding immediate Palestinian statehood. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) called for a “free Palestine” while also accusing Israel of war crimes (possibly related to Kermit’s missing eyeball). An independent Palestinian state is the linchpin of the oft-elusive two-state solution.

But what do the Palestinians want?

Fortunately, Gallup just conducted an opinion poll: “In the West Bank and East Jerusalem, one in three [Palestinian] adults (33%) support a two-state solution in 2025, while 55% oppose it.”

So a clear majority of Palestinians don’t want statehood!

I suspect this has something to do with the wording of Gallup’s question: “Would you support or not support a situation in which an independent Palestinian State existed alongside an independent State of Israel?”

If you’re still confused, read it again: They’re not interested in peaceful coexistence with Israel.

The Gallup poll was limited to East Jerusalem and the West Bank. (For very obvious reasons, not too many pollsters volunteered to go door-to-door in Gaza.) So, it’s possible that the Palestinians of Gaza feel completely different than the Palestinians of the West Bank.

But I doubt it. The region’s not that big, and there’s no evidence to support it.

Which means, this leftwing insistence on Palestinian statehood is yet another example of meddling foreign powers pushing a “political solution” on the native people who don’t want it. Once again, arrogant foreigners are disregarding the will of the natives, strong-arming them into concessions, decisions, and borders they don’t want.

Isn’t there a word for that?

Why, I believe there is:

Colonialism (Merriam-Webster): domination of a people or area by a foreign state or nation: the practice of extending and maintaining a nation's political and economic control over another people or area

Which makes our sandwich-loving friend, Greta Thunberg, a Viking colonizer.

Thunberg is supported in Congress by AOC, whose last name of “Cortez,” coincidentally enough, has more than a fleeting connection to murderous colonizers, too. (You might even call Cortez’s style of colonialism “genocidal.”)

Either way, Greta and co.'s patronizing, colonial-styled imperialism is disgusting. Shame on them for forcing THEIR OWN political beliefs on a local population that doesn’t want ‘em and/or eating all their sandwiches!

Greta Thunberg 'safe and healthy', claims IDF after intercepting aid flotilla bound for Gaza https://t.co/aS24R6fpfq
— LBC (@LBC) October 1, 2025

Say it with me: How dare you!

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