Democracy Really Did Die in Darkness

AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

It’s not easy being a super-genius. It’s a burden! 

Sure, it’s fun to spend your Sunday afternoons rounding off infinity and memorizing Pi to the gazillionth decimal point, but being a super-genius is a frustrating experience: You’re never on the same wavelength as everyone else. You’ve gotta dumb down all your comments. And in the business world, you’re constantly being ordered around by dopes, dolts, and dunces.

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You feel like Albert Einstein being bossed around by George the Animal Steele.

What’s even worse is when we super-geniuses are underpaid. Oh, my intellectually inferior friends: Hell hath no fury like a super-genius on minimum wage! The most jealous man on planet Earth is a super-genius who’s super-broke.

Now, imagine how awful it must be for a super-broke super-genius whose livelihood requires us to report on stupid people. (We call you folks “The Normies.”) We're constantly reminded of the social inequity: The Normies have all the money, all the industry, and all the power. (Plus all the friends, all the sex, and all the fun.)

It’s not fair!

So, we write about it. We might even toss in a witty literary allusion to Shakespeare. (Ha! And they said my English Lit degree wouldn’t pay off!) And maybe, through the power of my reporting — and my vastly superior intellect — I can help those uneducated, unwashed masses see the light.

‘Tis the plight of the mainstream journalist.

It’s for your own good, you see. You Normies can’t be trusted to make decisions on your own. (I mean, have you seen how you people dress? Ew.) Which is why we super-geniuses put our “thumbs on the scales” when reporting on the news: We’re the guiding light of wisdom, leading you dumbasses to the Promised Land.

At least, that’s the way it used to be.

The Trump Revolution was like an atom bomb dropped into tranquil waters: The explosion was deafening, and the ripples and repercussions will continue for decades. Eventually, the waters will settle and normalcy will return — but it’ll be a far different version of “normal.”

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We’re still in the chaos period. Lots of waves, commotion, and choppy waters.

But when it’s over, the media will be reduced to rubble. One of the lasting legacies of the Trump presidency is the complete and total discrediting of the mainstream media. All those super-geniuses have been exposed.

Turns out, the Normies don’t need ‘em.

First, it was the boy-who-cried-wolf syndrome during the first Trump term: Whatever Trump did, it was the end of our republic (and possibly the end of the world). Ridiculous things were said: He’s a dictator! He’s a tyrant! He’s a racist!

And, of course, “Democracy dies in darkness!”

In 2020, the media got what they wanted: COVID hysteria was at its peak and election rules were radically reconfigured. On Election Day, Donald Trump was defeated by Joe Biden.

(Well, maybe not ON Election Day — Trump won ON Election Day — I mean, when we kept counting all the mail-in ballots in the days AFTER Election Day.) 

Finally, the republic was saved! Trump was gone; good ol’ Joe Biden was in charge!

The super-geniuses in the media didn’t realize it, but this was their last chance to save themselves. 

Because Joe Biden was a doddering old man with a history of health issues, we needed an attentive, responsible media to tell the American people the truth.

After all, we’re not at those White House briefings. We’re not invited to those fancy D.C. cocktail parties. We’re stuck in boring Flyover Country, clinging to our guns and religion, drinking Natty Light and shopping at Walmart. 

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The Normies are on the outside, looking in.

I mean, if you super-geniuses can’t even report accurately about what’s going on in your own backyard… what good are you?

It’s now clear that one of the biggest (and strangest) stories in American political history was happening right under our noses: A mentally-diminished president, who was increasingly incapable of performing basic tasks and functions, was hiding the truth about his infirmities from the American people.

And the media aided and abetted the coverup. 

My esteemed colleague Matt Margolis posted a story that links to the bombshell Wall Street Journal report that details the extent of Biden’s senility. It’s shocking:

  • Biden was kept from meeting with his cabinet members, lest his “cognitive decline” be too obvious.
  • Meetings were scrapped when Biden was having a “bad day.”
  • Tasks and responsibilities of the president had to be handled by his underlings.

The same media that bloviated endlessly when President Reagan switched two or three cabinet meetings at an astrologer’s request had nothing to say about President Biden canceling meetings because he’s no longer smart enough to understand what’s going on.

Today, there’s a report about Kamala Harris changing her itinerary and rushing back to the White House. President Biden canceled his holiday plans and returned as well.

It could be something big — like a secret health crisis. We could be on the verge of a new president! Or it could be related to the looming government shutdown.

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Or it could simply be that Biden didn’t feel like traveling and wanted to meet with his veep. Who knows?

Either way, we no longer look to the media to tell us the truth. They went from the boy who cried wolf to the deaf, blind, and mute monkeys. With Trump, they were all-knowing and all-seeing — and all of it was awful! Then, with Biden, they saw nothing, said nothing, and did nothing.

And in doing so, they destroyed their credibility. It was pretty stupid, actually.

Y’know, for a bunch of super-geniuses, those guys are pretty dumb.

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